Heartstrings
by ser3ne eternity
Summary: Maybe you didn't know it, maybe you didn't want to. But I was yours from the start. UxM Under revision. Formerly 'Garden of Eden: Heartstrings.'
1. Chapter 1

_oOo_

**Garden of Eden: **_Heartstrings_

_oOo_

_Summary:  
She was beautiful, in a haunting sort of way. And he couldn't seem to keep away from her despite his well known aversion towards the fairer of sexes because somehow, she made it okay to be curious. Though she was strangely tragic, there was a daring spirit inside that was reckless to the point where he might have called it suicidal. He knew it, because he could relate to that whimsical edge._

_()()()_

_there's no such thing as happily ever after_

**Chapter 1**  
_the shrink_

Life is always on the go.

People are busy, time is fleeting—happiness is laughably sparse and surreal to those who may come across to possess it.

As the modern lifestyle grows busier and more techologically advanced, there is seldom any time to stop for a chat or take a deep breath. The air grows more polluted, with the excessive manufacturing of vehicles of all kinds and the threat of global warming. There is an ever growing need for money and wealth, the latest sleek technology, designer items and more as gas, food, transport and tax prices rise ever higher.

The higher we get in society the more stress becomes part of the ever infinitely contradicting status quo.

Yet still, society grows more weary and demanding with each passing day. The media bombards the community with messages of fame and glory, alcohol, designer items and high expectations for the model definition of '_beauty'_. Expectations rocket to near impossible heights and perfection is all that is wanted.

And all the while people have grown withdrawn and distant, too motivated with work and money and work and taxes, and _more work_ to even waste time on frivolous thoughts like those of human emotion or human contact. We become reluctant of human contact yet crave for it all the same.

But in this world, there are no such things as white picket fences, family dinners where all are present at the table, free weekends to watch our sons' basketball games or attend a daughter's dance recital. There are no such things as breakfast on the table, or friendly hellos to strangers. Things are always, _always_ moving.

There is no time to stop.

The world won't wait for you.

The world is no longer as it used to be.

Idealism is now overrated.

Words are overused.

Emotions are cliche.

Yet...in one small place, one city of Japan—there is a girl, and there is a boy.

And perhaps—as the occasion calls for it—there is room to wear out the phrase of 'once upon a time' once more.

So.

Once upon a time, there was a girl, and there was a boy...

--

_Thinking about it now..._

A seventeen-year-old girl flopped on her stomach against an extravagant black leather couch. Her five foot six length sprawled easily against the couch as her hair caressed her cheek where she idly, twirled a lock of long moonspun hair, her slender fingers twirling the end of her high ponytail gracefully. Currently, her eyes were glazed with a faraway look, her attention elsewhere and noting the many dust particles in the dim office, the shadows of books and PhD's and the lived-in feel of the supposed-to-be office vaguely registering in her mind.

She saw the outline of two doors of richly carved mahogany to the right of a furnished oak desk, the same door she had used to enter this damn office. The doors were connected to a separate area of the floor where the receptionist usually sat, a kind and cheerful woman in her late twenties at least and a combined waiting room for other patients—err, _students_. Behind where she currently lay, was a single door of the same fashion as the double ones that was a quick exit down the hall over to the stairs...

_It was all so much for my mortal mind. I wanted it to stop, needed it to for the sake of my very existence. The process of feeling all the defeat spreading from my mind to my fingertips, my toes, and sprouting in new places everywhere, hitting me where it hurt most…it was agonizing and all so terrifying to experience—to feel so…abandoned. _

She remembered the first time she'd been forced to come here. The taste with which the building designs exuded made her wonder exactly how much these people were getting paid, what with their fancy faculty room and spacious offices—the place didn't even look like a school. She'd only been in town for a few days, and already her flamboyant cousin had shipped her off to talk about her '_feelings'_. In short, judging by the sickeningly prestigious PhD's, her cousin had sent her to the school counsellor, only one peg lower and beneath a full-flegded shrink.

_"Release is good, cousin,"_ she had said.

Tch, she scoffed. Whatever.

She didn't see the whole point in talking to some counsellor about some problems she had that were deeply rooted inside her—what made her cousin think she would open up to the first person who volunteered to listen? This...councellor person hadn't even known her for more than a measly few hours a session, and she was already prying into _extremely_ personal matters. Seriously, she'd arrived and been here a week, and some stupid school superintendent believed she should go through a week of two hour counselling before she would be able to join the other teenagers like her cousin as a student at this school.

School had only been in session for like, what? A month and a half? Two? Why did she need counselling for her people skills? It wasn't like anyone would really notice her. She was one person out of the tens of thousands attending the school. She snorted, besides her people skills were fine—it was just some lame ass excuse the committee put together in terms of her _'stability'_. She was completey stable.

Really.

_My own vivid perception was enough to horrify me into the insane asylum. Images flashed through my mind, montages of other people's lives and what they were going through, things gone and past, and things yet to come—happiness, despair, love, rage, pride, lust, jealousy, grief. _

She grimaced. The feeling that churned her stomach felt achingly similar to denial. She hated lying.

"Tell me, Usagi, do you have a fascination with blood?"

Stirring from her rant-induced haze, Usagi recognized the faint chiming voice of her counsellor, a beautiful woman by the name of Meiou Setsuna. Though both young women shared the same indifferent disposition, they were in no way related. Whereas Setsuna had fairly tanned skin and dark bottomless garnet eyes that made her a classic beauty with a shroud of black hair, glimmering forest green, Usagi possessed a less elegant tint to her features and was more exotic with her high cheekbones, milky white complexion like porcelain and brilliantly resilient electric blue eyes that reflected sapphire under the light all the while complimenting her ridiculously light, platinum silver hair.

_The feelings flurried around in my mind in furious torrents, grasping ruthlessly at my wavering sanity until I drowned in all the self-doubt, in all the low self-esteem, the pain and the desperate, pitiful blame that swallowed what little heart I still had into the dark of nothingness. Hurt filled my veins, and saturated my blood with a filthy taint that would never leave and cursed me with memories and nightmares screaming for my attention, dragging my resistance away with jagged claws until it withered away into a pathetic pile of ash. _

She fiddled with the zipper on her white jacket, taking comfort that the collar was high and the material was light for the recent spike of hot weather...why she wore jeans in such sweltering weather, she would never know. She could only be grateful that her jeans were worn and faded, the holes at the knees allowing for more air circulation...

_Everything ugly and beautiful all the same. _

At least she didn't wear dark clothes, save for her black boots. But then again, her boots were her favourite footwear—she almost always wore them when she didn't opt to wear her converse shoes.

_But I couldn't feel it—I was numb inside. . All I could do was see it and be left to witness it occur as it was flaunted at me with a disgusting smugness that was victorious in provoking my longing, my loneliness. It was successful in bringing me down to my knees, forcing me into submission, a pathetic surrender. _

Anyway, fascination with blood, was it?

Sighing at the question in contemplation, Usagi couldn't help but sarcastically quip to herself about how sadist the question made her sound.

_My heartbeat slowed to a meager tempo, barely noticeable that you would think I were dead when the world blurred around me, and the colors that used to be so vivid in my mind lost their personality until they bled into a drab, uniform grey, seeping into a world of fearful oppression and ambition edging towards the thin, almost non-existent line of madness. _

Usagi fixed a satirical look on her shrink, nearly allowing a tone to take over her voice that would have betrayed the simple fact that she did not want to be there.

"Oh, I don't know perhaps because it's so dark and real...and maybe, perhaps it's because it's one of the very _sparse_ things keeping me alive."

Setsuna raised one delicate brow in askance at the pessimistic tone Usagi took, easily perceiving her sarcasm despite the grain of truth presented through her normally opaque eyes. Perhaps there was something on her mind? Judging by the look on her face, Setsuna could tell that Usagi did not particularly like the analytical look in her eyes at her response; she probably thought it meant something.

"Funny."

_Some days though, I revelled in the feeling of it, the complete impossibility that chaotic insanity could be a comfort. _

The young teen rolled her eyes in response, her melodic voice drawling, "You know as well as I do that the only reason I'm here, is so as not to waste my cousin's money and concern."

Again, Setsuna was presented with a resistant answer and Usagi could only scowl as the school counsellor scribbled something on her clipboard with a glamorous hand, her black pen gleaming as some sunlight managed to break through her drawn blinds.

_And yet, morbidly, it was. _

Stupid _pleasantries_.

The older woman could hardly believe how difficult Usagi was. The young girl was her most confusing mystery yet, and all she coulld gather was that her rebellious nature had to do with her sudden move to the suburbs of Japan in the Juuban district from the raw streets of a darker side of Kyoto in a less than ideal area, that was most likely an unwanted course of action on the teenager's part. Or, Setsuna smirked tiredly; perhaps she was rebellious because of the fact that she resented being picked at by someone who was trying to get her to spill her darkest secrets to.

She wondered vaguely why she had decided to major in the area of psychology instead of going into teaching as her parents had wished...She could have been a psychiatrist at the very least and gotten a much higher pay, but here she was. A high school counsellor. Wonderful. Everybody knew how difficult the young could be—especially when they believed they could figure everything out on their own, that they knew all the answers when in actuality they knew jack shit.

_I would sink into it, never knowing how long I stayed in such a state. I never noticed when the sun went up, when the moon came down or when the stars glittered...half the time I don't think I even knew my own name. It was nice, in a way to be able to forget even if the pain only came in a pang centering around my heart with deadly accuracy that would on other days, make me quail in fright. _

She curled a tendril of hair behind her ear and concluded that she really couldn't blame Usagi for being reluctant to talk to her; she had been forced into another one of several of these sessions by her influential guardian, when Aino-san's daughter had expressed her worries about her cousin. Judging by the little progress made, Minako would most likely send her cousin back.

_Selfishly, I would tell myself that it was okay to feel pain and to wallow in a weak heap on the ground at times. Even the best fall down, even the strong break down. And what's sad is that everyone is always going to be waiting for that time, for when you fuck up beyond repair. And that's what makes me realize that maybe I'm not half as much as a sadist as others...at least I don't take satisfaction in seeing someone else fail. At least with this thought, I could convince myself to stand up straight with my chin up in the crowd though there was an aching wisdom in my young eyes that should not yet have been there. _

Setsuna sighed, thinking that perhaps the next session would be much more interesting if she could draw Usagi out to speak enough, as eccentric as she was. There was really only one other person that even remotely resembled Usagi's behaviour and though she had known him for a little over a month and a half—he refused to crack as well. In fact, even Usagi was sometimes more generous than he was; the most she could ever get out of him was a curse.

The older woman, who was a psychiatrist in a sense considering she listened to the woes of other peoples lives with a supposedly sympathetic ear, played around with the idea of introducing the two to each other...

She shook her head. The results could be extreme opposites, for all she knew. It could end in disaster.

_But then, on other days, I would be a vindictive bitch. _

Setsuna narrowed her eyes in thought as an image of unruly raven strands, tanned skin, broad shoulders and fierce midnight eyes came to mind...

Though Usagi tended to speak to her as though she was bland and boring, there was a spark of life in those azure eyes. Usagi could be troublesome if she so wished it and God knows, Mamoru had an adventurous streak himself despite the uptight, prim properness he seemed to exude what with being a bit of an introvert—it was why he seemed such a popular candidate for many upper and lower-class female students' affections. They seemed to find the whole brooding and mysterious 'tall-dark-and-handsome' quality he had extremely attractive—and it was.

_I would want to scream for the unfairness of it all, would want to lash out. I would need to let it all out and just be free of it, no matter who was the victim of my furious onslaught…but the problem was that it just wouldn't come out. It absolutely refused to leave me and I struggled to control myself against the rising shackles of imprisonment that my dark conscience was gradually creating for me—I knew it was there...just waiting. _

She snorted quietly with sarcasm—at the same time, it was annoyingly cliché.

_And then, on other days—days like these—I would grin and bear it with a sickeningly sugar sweet smile, trying my hardest to smile at least once a week...I don't remember anyone ever getting something genuine out of me...at least not lately. _

Thank heavens for that boy's guardian, Suzuki Yukari. Only the regal and kind woman that was his guardian could ever get him disciplined willingly and—if she was lucky—she could sometimes do the same. Mamoru was less inclined to listen to her though, considering she was getting paid and all...his guardian on the other hand, Setsuna mused, was someone he held in respect—a discrete kind of respect, really. It sounded difficult to get his cooperation, but it was true. Because in every other way, Mamoru was merely disciplined because he forced himself to be. For a reason that was somewhat pessimistic, albeit true.

_The only way to get out of this hell hole is to do good. Especially at the shit you hate the most._

Setsuna could just imagine the masculine tone of his voice mixed in with a surly resignation that he would be forced to put effort into things. It sometimes made a wry smile come to her face unbidden at his frankness.

"You're getting good at making me talk, Setsuna," Setsuna ignored the casualty with which Usagi spoke her name, replacing the formality of the last name basis they once shared, "but you don't talk nearly as much...Am I rubbing off on you?"

She allowed herself a small smile. "I suppose so, Usagi."

_How sad was it that I needed a minimum requirement of myself in order to get myself to smile? _

"Hmm," Usagi lazily gave a half-hearted smirk back, glancing at the clock hanging on the wall by her desk, "Do you have any more questions for me? Other than the ones that seem to make me sound more than just a tad..._suicidal?_"

_...Surprisingly, not sad enough. _

"Your sarcasm never fails to amuse me."

"I try," came the devilish response.

_At least not yet. _

"I must admit, you're very good at hiding the fact you that you don't wish to be here with your banter...the advanced vocabulary you use is...well, let's just put it this way—not swearing in front of me is very considerate of you...however unnecessary."

The two sat in companionable silence for a moment or two—Setsuna waiting for a response, and Usagi jumping at the chance to possibly be dismissed and free to go sight seeing...however rural the area seemed...at least it was on the outskirts of the city—she could easily go back if she wanted to, seeing how she dropped in during the middle of the school year and would have to go first thing tomorrow...perhaps she wouldn't though, considering she hadn't been around for very long.

"Damn," she snapped her fingers, her eyes gleaming, "you caught me."

_Besides, pain was a thing of the past—and it should stay that way. _

Usagi gazed at Setsuna with a hinting look that suggested the response she wanted to hear from her. Setsuna merely sighed obligingly and decided, after looking at the time, that perhaps her suggestion wouldn't be a bad idea. She had gotten as much as she could get from the teen this session, pointless as it was for the time being.

"Alright fine, you can leave now."

Relieved, Usagi pushed herself up from her former position of being draped on the couch and languidly stretched her arms and legs, satisfied with the pops she heard that indicated some of the kinks in her body gone. Leaning back on her hands and crossing her legs, she watched as Setsuna gracefully rose from her chair and slipped her black high pumps on—and even Usagi could allow herself to privately appreciate that she only really took them off when she was there. The older woman held her clipboard to her chest as she walked towards the door while Usagi stood to follow her.

Her long legs stung with numbness from the lack of use during the last hour and she had to ignore the figurative pin needles piercing her lower body as she barely stopped by Setsuna, not looking at the older woman as she raised her index and middle finger, saluting her goodbye. She felt the heatwave crash against her face the minute she stepped out the door in an instant, and the change of temperature from Setsuna's blessedly air-conditioned office and into the stuffiness of the area outside it was painfully obvious.

"Usagi," Setsuna saw the girl's stride slow in response to her call and she smiled kindly, "Till next time?"

_I laugh bitterly—despite the obvious optimism seeping through that statement, I know it's not as easy as it sounds. _

A few feet away by the secretary's desk, Usagi snorted and rolled her eyes, pondering the events of the day's session before she shook her head knowingly. Nothing had changed, after all.

Sighing, Usagi turned her head to her though her back still faced her. Minako would make her come since she hadn't really changed, and if she had Minako would make her come anyway...thinking that if she kept going she would keep changing till she was...'back to the way she was before'.

"I don't seem any more different, do I?" was the rhetorical answer, and Setsuna smothered her light chuckles at her sulking voice, "Later, Setsuna."

_There are some things...that I know I'll just never say..._

_Strange,_ Setsuna mused while leaning against the doorframe, _it's almost as if she knew she'd be coming back anyway._

"Oh...and Usagi! Remember, you're here eight o'clock sharp, tomorrow morning—!"

"Yeah, yeah. I need my schedule, and my locker number and all that other shit." Usagi's fading voice came from the stairs, "Don't worry, I remember. And don't even think about giving me a guide! I already know my way around."

Setsuna smirked.

The next day, Usagi sighed as she knocked on the door of her first period class with—she glanced at her schedule—with Iwamori-sensei.

She had come to Setsuna's office as they'd planned only for her secretary to hand her a package of papers containing her courses for each semester, her locker for both the hallway and in the gym along with the locks for said lockers and an excuse about not having a uniform for her. She figured her lack of a uniform was the reason for Setsuna's absence. The woman was too punctual to really forget an appointment. And how here she was, waiting in the hall for permission to go into class with Minako who was late because she insisted on accompanying her.

"Come on, Usa." Minako grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet, dragging her into the classroom.

"Ah, Aino-san if you would be so kind as to inform us of your...friend?"

Iwamori-sensei was, from what Usagi gathered upon seeing his appearance, a fairly sensible looking man. He had typical dark chestnut brown hair with intelligent hazel eyes that could be seen from behind wire-frame glasses. His posture was painfully straight and he wore a smart combination of a button down shirt with pressed slacks, a blazer slung across the back of his seat.

"Hai." Minako bowed in respect and Usagi wondered how she made the move look so easy when her uniform's skirt was so short. "This is my cousin. I was asked to show her around, Iwamori-sensei."

He nodded in understanding.

"Alright then, have a seat, Aino-san and as for you," he turned to Usagi, "Please, introduce yourself..."

He paused momentarily to allow Usagi a chance to speak.

--

In the far corner of the room, Chiba Mamoru sat up slightly upon seeing the door open and hearing the male portion of the class inhale sharply as a blonde with a red bow in her hair that he recognized to be Aino Minako stepped through the door, followed by another teenaged girl his age.

He pursed his lips. He could understand why the male student body would suddenly stand to attention in Iwamori-sensei's less than riveting lesson considering it was Aino Minako who walked through the door. She was quite the popular and beautiful figure in the school after all, and one of the only female students he could stand being civil towards, at least ever since she had managed to coax her friend Hino Rei out of pursuing him in which he had become eternally indebted to her for. He grimaced, out of all his admirers he had to admit that Rei had been of the most spirited in trying to gain his affections when in truth, it had only driven him further away from her.

But he digressed. They weren't looking at Minako, they were looking at the new girl that he just realized wasn't from around here.

More often than not, Mamoru couldn't be bothered to care about new appearances or new students, yet there was something else about this girl.

He wanted to be uninterested, but he still found himself more intrigued with the girl standing behind Minako because although Minako had a way of acting around other people that attracted them and had her gaining their attention, the new appearance of this other girl had done nothing—she hadn't said a word, nor had she moved since she stepped up beside Minako to face their sensei and everyone was observing her. She looked like she could tell there were people staring, but she acted like she could care less.

A messenger bag slung across her torso haphazardly, Mamoru smirked at the contrasts between the two girls as Minako walked to her seat like sensei had asked of her, carrying a briefcase like many other students.

Unlike Minako's sunny and golden features, the girl next to her held an ethereal look. A brow rose.

Minako was tanned from constant social meetings at the beach and playing volleyball but this girl had a milky complexion. Her features would make one assume she was delicate but her clothing suggested otherwise. If anything, she looked more bad ass than Minako. His eyes sparked with curious amusement.

She didn't wear the standard grey, blue and maroon uniform of a student of Azabu High, but instead wore leather boots up to her knees next to Minako's practical, stylish loafers along with a Three Lights band T-shirt, a studded belt over top that tilted down to her left hip over top it, and faded cut-off shorts. Her hair, which was shockingly stark silver was pulled into a high ponytail that cascaded to the middle of her back, and glimmered ever so slightly in the light. There were a few loose strands that teased the sides of her high cheekbones and her bangs shaded her eyes ever so slightly. He caught sight of two piercings in her right ear.

She turned her face ever so slightly to his direction where he sat in the far corner, isolated from the girls so that he was surrounded by fellow males sitting around him and his lips parted so that he coughed to cover it up when he realized he'd been staring. He looked away and could only wonder at her audacity when she raised a perfectly arched brow and smirked at him.

_Her eyes..._

Her eyes were amazing. They were blue like Minako's but instead of being light like his fellow upperclassmen, they were a deep lightening blue that darkened into a navy black around her pupil but lightened near the edges like the silver of her hair.

She perused through the faces in the class and decided that she wasn't interested, until she saw one student staring at her from the corner. Usagi tilted her head slightly—he was goodlooking. Lush raven hair, bronzed skin, and dark cobalt eyes that she assumed changed depending on what he was feeling. He held a pencil in his right hand, idly twirling it as he looked her up and down. She wondered what he was really like. He had perfect posture and sat as though he were paying attention, but the half-hearted effort that he probably used to put his uniform on said something else. His tie was done loosely, he wore his maroon blazer open and unlike all the other students, his black button up had the two top buttons undone and it wasn't tucked into his belt either.

She met his eyes and sighed at the bothersome routine of intros. Their sensei had paused to let her speak.

"Tsukino Usagi." she said.

She could get along with him.

"Right then, Tsukino-san. Tell us a little bit about yourself."

_Damn. _She scowled minutely but rolled her eyes at Minako's admonishing gaze.

"I moved from Kyoto, to live with my cousin Minako." At Iwamori-sensei's expectant gaze for her to elaborate, she shrugged. "I got expelled from my old school."

Mamoru stifled a snicker upon seeing Iwamori-sensei's friendly face take on a suspicious tint at the admission.

"It was kind of stupid though," Usagi continued, fully aware of her sensei's growing distrust towards her, "and really insulting. The stupid shit they expelled me for wasn't even my fault...I could've come up with something way better than that."

Her eyes glazed in reminiscence and she leaned against the teacher's desk in blatant disrespect. Mamoru heard Minako gasp nervously at her cousin's bluntness and he finally chuckled to himself quietly at Iwamori-sensei's dark expression upon hearing her curse. He lifted a hand to cover the full-blown growing smile on his face.

"And what exactly did they expell you for, Tsukino-san?"

She raked a hand through her bangs breezily, "You don't want to know."

"I see." Iwamori-sensei said tightly."Have a seat next to Hino Rei, then. Hino, raise your hand."

_Poor girl, _Mamoru thought somewhat sympathetically as he watched her walk toward the empty seat to Rei's left. On the plus side, he was rather curious to know of her so it was really quite convenient that she sit two desks away from him.

"Hi!" Rei greeted her enthusiastically. Usagi wondered if it was painful for her to smile like that.

_Tch._

She didn't like her already.

She dropped her bag to the ground and slumped her chin into the palm of her right hand, closing her eyes in disinterest. The way Hino-san kept looking at her clothing skeptically then smiling brightly the next second annoyed her. What a _fake_.

"Hey." Usagi greeted her noncomittally as she slid into her seat.

"I noticed you looking at Chiba-sempai." At this, Usagi inwardly rolled her eyes.

_And once again, another girl proceeds to stake a claim, _Mamoru mused, upon seeing Rei's smile take a predatory edge. So much for being over him, then. Maybe he should talk to Minako about it?

Rei watched as Usagi slid her crystalline gaze towards her as Iwamori-sensei turned to write some chemistry problems on the board, but Usagi didn't say anything.

"He's spoken for Tsukino-san, just so you know."

_Is that so?_

"Hn." Usagi smirked. "He's probably not that great anyway."

The man in question narrowed his eyes unnoticeably.

Rei gasped. "Are you kidding? Have you _seen_ the man? He...he's so hot!"

_Ugh, she's shallow too. _Usagi thought scornfully. "Your point?"

"Well, because he's...he's nice and goodlooking and..." Rei floundered with her words, and shrunk back at Usagi's intense stare.

Usagi glanced pointedly in Mamoru's direction, knowing he was eavesdropping. Mamoru raised a blatant brow challengingly in response to being caught listening, and observed Usagi's full lips distractedly as she enunciated her words slowly. "Look, Hino-san. The only reason I was interested in—Chiba, was it?—is because he seems like someone I could get along with. If I do something, it's because I want to. I'm not a follower..."

"Tsukino-san! You weren't staring at Chiba, were you?"

Mamoru waited for her response and felt a small bit of confusion when she smiled.

"Of course I was staring. How can anyone resist?" _Not._

Iwamori-sensei sighed. _Another one bites the dust._

"Well if you could be so kind as to allow Chiba his personal space, I'm sure all the females present would appreciate it. And furthermore, I would like to know what your potential is. Right now, we're doing some review on the basics so would you care to answer this question?"

_No, not really. _"Of course, Iwamori-sensei. Decay curves are different for certain radioisotopes depending on the length of their half-life."

"Alright. How about, what type of radioactive decay does carbon-14 go through? Explain."

Usagi sighed. "It goes through beta decay. You can tell because the mass number stays the same but the atomic number is increased by one number, and moves to the right on the periodic table."

Minako stared at Usagi in awe. Now she had a study partner that would know what they're doing! She wasn't the only one to be impressed. Iwamori-sensei was currently trying to regain his composure at realizing that the troublemaker Usagi appeared to be, actually had a brain.

She took the time to remember the way he looked when she first walked in. Looking at him now, there was a definite hint of curiousity in his eyes. She could only wonder at the mixed feelings the notion brought up inside of her. She supposed it could be worse. At least she could be sure he wouldn't be one of those pathetic types of stalkers. Besides, it could be interesting. This side of the Juuban district in Japan was squeaky clean—something that irked her inner rebellion and brought up the significant differences between the two places she lived in.

Usagi inwardly smiled at Rei's stormy, possessive stare as she gave Mamoru a mysterious stare, langorously crossing her legs to lean back.

_Tch, guess you were right, Hino._


	2. Chapter 2

_oOo_

**Garden of Eden: **_Heartstrings_

_oOo_

_Summary:  
She was beautiful, in a haunting sort of way. And he couldn't seem to keep away from her despite his well known aversion towards the fairer of sexes because somehow, she made it okay to be curious. Though she was strangely tragic, there was a daring spirit inside that was reckless to the point where he might have called it suicidal. He knew it, because he could relate to that whimsical edge._

_()()()_

_she doesn't belong here_

**Chapter 2  
**_home on the other side_

It had been two weeks since Usagi had arrived.

She hadn't worn her school uniform for the first three days she was there no matter how many times Minako attempted to coax her into one.Many eyes had grazed over her unique choice of clothing because of this until Setsuna had caught wind of her little rulebreaking habits. Once found out, the older woman had promptly shoved a uniform into the teen's hands that same day at lunch. Granted, it had taken the counsellor a while to find the teen, and she had been surprised when Usagi merely sighed and asked to be pointed into the direction of the change rooms as she hadn't quite been familiar with the whole school yet.

Shocked by the lack of resistance, Setsuna had speechlessly waited until Usagi came back out clad in the obsidian blouse with the school logo, grey plaid skirt and the trademark school tie. She had refused to wear the knee high socks though, stating that the socks were the most sickening sign that depicted a school girl image—and image she so happened to detest, thus bringing a bit of relief to Setsuna's conscience at the disappearance of her behaviour's oddity...not that she could get any weirder though.

Since then, Usagi had taken to aggravating Iwamori-sensei in the subtlest ways possible knowing that he was responsible for Setsuna's knowledge, by answering his questions with skillful sarcasm and wittisicm, unintentionally amusing the rest of the class or just not paying attention at all—a fact that amused Setsuna knowing that Usagi was purposely broadcasting it to her attention with the gossiping of her fellow classmates. Furthermore, she had become a spectacle of attention for those of the opposite sex who were attracted to her for her exotic, rare colouring and eccentric personality.

Though she appeared to be very social and someone that one could easily become drawn to, she was elusive and ever vague in conversations that drove you mad with curiosity. She had charm—but you could never get close enough to her. To be honest, she rarely spoke a word. Not since the first day she showed attitude, but she supposed it was due to the circumstances.

After all, Usagi had been less than pleased with moving. And really, Setsuna had never heard her talk so much in front of so many people—maybe Minako had been exaggerating when she reported to her.

In short though, she really was quite odd.

She rather reminded Setsuna of Mamoru.

Speaking of which, nothing had happened between the two dynamic teens yet.

That in itself was rather dumbfounding to the counsellor. She could've _sworn_ there'd be _some_ type of reaction between the two. Certainly, she had expected curiosity to be a playing motive but there was none save for some inquisitive glances.

She hadn't even seen Usagi engage Mamoru in any conversation—she had predicted that if either of them would approach each other, then it would have to be Usagi with her lack of respect for privacy when it came to the things she was interested in. Mamoru would never risk engaging Usagi into a conversation—rumors would fly like fireballs and what respect and awe Usagi would have won by then would diminish depending on how good her first impression was on on her grade—not to mention, there would be hell to pay from the more dedicated of Mamoru's fan club.

It was rather saddening, really.

Hino Rei was such a bright young woman, motivated beyond belief and persistent to the extreme. She was loyal to the end and smoothly articulate. She was engaging and a presence that kept things interesting. From what she could tell, Mamoru almost felt sympathetic that he didn't feel anything for her—she certainly had _some_ admirable traits. But when it came to him, she was nothing but a _nuisance. _No matter how many times he _gently_ refused her date offers, she would come back.

Ever tenacious, it was one of the reasons Mamoru hated her—err, _strongly disliked_—as he said to her in a moment of disregard where he had ranted to his heart's content. He had begun to lose his patient courtesy for the girl long ago, and now made it a point to be away from her as quickly as possible if avoiding her completely was out of the question. She could tell that he admitted to himself that he was a bit rude when curt but the priestess though spiritual and trained in the art of selfless giving, could be the complete polar opposite. Sometimes Mamoru found it maddening how hypocritical she could be. For really, the girl had no right interfering in his social, athletic _or_ intellectual pursuits.

But she had. In fact, if Setsuna didn't know any better she would have to say that Usagi had gained an enemy in Hino Rei.

In one certain aspect, Rei had interfered in Mamoru's life yet again when it came to Usagi. Whereas Rei was persistent—if not delusional in believing Mamoru belonged to her—Usagi was content to lay back and rarely showed interest in anything from what he could tell. The blonde was aloof, she moved with weightless silence and disbelieving grace. It was disbelieving really, since she would sometimes slouch while walking and make it look feminine. She carried herself unassumingly, but there was an understated power in her presence. Come to think of it, Setsuna no longer witnessed Usagi's playful wit anymore. The blonde had apparently resolved to keep to herself.

The raven-haired girl constantly badgered the other—but made it look like she didn't—who could possibly be called the yin to her yang. It was rather fascinating to see them stand in front of each other and argue.

Or one-sidedly depending on whether or not Usagi was willing to humor Rei's frustrations. Hell, the priestess felt_ threatened _by the platinum blonde. The caution and hostility exuded off her in miniscule tight waves whenever Setsuna happened upon her about to berate Usagi. Course, the students of Azabu were nothing if not subtle. So while the school hadn't made too much of an obvious change there was a certain difference in the way a certain number of students now acted.

She had seen enough and after the first week of Usagi's arrival the school had settled back into its usual routine. There was less fuss about the mysterious Tsukino Usagi as people grew used to her being around until it got to the point where she was just another pretty face with the exception of an interesting personality. But really, no one really bothered her anymore once they got to know her what little she allowed them to know.

Certainly her name was well known, for who could forget looks like hers in the network of Japan? However, now she was more of a person who you would admire from afar and only dream of befriending yet you would be satisfied knowing that she was someone worth being interested in at the least.

Setsuna sighed. It was easy to see why Rei would dislike her, when she was so used to being the one with attention. But then in came Usagi, with her lack of interest and dry humor—then suddenly the attention shifted without the blonde meaning to attract such attention to herself. Usagi stood out, unintentionally but stood out all the same.At least you knew she wasn't some bitchy queen bee in disguise despite the fact she rarely voiced her thoughts. But she made it count when she did.

--

He was skipping.

He almost couldn't believe he was doing something to be considered juvenile since he was supposed to be seen as 'responsible', 'hardworking' and 'serious'...but God, he hated perfection. He was weary of the sickening displays of love made towards him and found himself wondering why he could feel no flattery but just annoyance. Most guys wanted to be him, for nearly every girl had had a crush on him at least once at some point over the last four years in Azabu. Yet he hated the attention.

Plus, Hino Rei made it all the more possible to dislike the opposite sex.

Mamoru grimaced.

Setsuna herself was wavering on the thin line between people he found respectable and his bonafide shit list. The way she meddled in his affairs when she had no reason to worry infuriated him. He hated the weekly appointments all seniors were forced to participate in with their counsellors and found himself much more gruff lately due to Rei's suddenly much more pressing offers and pursuits. Ever since the new student had arrived, the other girl had regained and renewed the vigor she once had to gain his attentions.

She was suddenly more demanding of his time—which she had no right to. Every time she found him speaking to a female, be it a teacher or student over assignments or simply asking for the time she would act so sweet it made his teeth hurt, only to do a one-eighty with her temper and give him a pounding headache—which had been the case for nearly two weeks now.

Come to think of it, she kept mentioning Tsukino-san whenever she saw him. What would he know about Tsukino-san? How should _he_ know anyway?

It was like all the girls and guys in school expected him to know about her, asking him about her and talking to him about her...

All he ever heard was how amazingly beautiful and different she was, but how interesting can one girl possibly be? Now that she had been there for a little while she rarely cracked as many flirty comments nor did she ever pay attention to him the way she had on her first day. He himself had gone about his own day without a thought of her and sometimes found himself startled when he would be reminded of her upon hearing the jealousy in the tones of the girls that followed him around whenever he would courteously allow Tsukino to go in before him for Iwamori-sensei's class since it was one of three classes they had together.

For God's sake, other than that one wink and those few glances, Tsukino-san and he never even talked despite the mutual and platonic interest they had had in each other.

Besides, she kept to herself more often than not with the exception of Minako being at her side nearly every time he passed her by—probably because they were cousins he deduced. She was different now from the blunt and rebellious nature she had shown on the first day—it was like she'd mellowed out and he couldn't help but notice since he never _not_ noticed things. In the beginning during the few times he had allowed himself to indulge in the urge to glance at her he would catch her staring out the window or idly doodling in her books. Quite frankly, he'd heard enough about Usagi to the point that he really didn't quite care anymore.

Physically, she was quite the specimen and even he had to admit that he found her attractively bewitching the first time he saw her. But that spark she had possessed when he first met her was no longer there, and though he wondered what had happened to it he didn't think he could work up the effort to find out. After all, he wasn't _that _curious anyway. Besides, maybe she wasn't like that all the time anyway—it wasn't like people to stay in one mood all the time.

So just like that, the interest and foreign curiosity had worn off. Almost guiltily he had written her off with a decided finality.

But...

She knew she shouldn't be skipping class, but she figured Renji-sensei would understand. She was sure that by now Iwamori-sensei probably had created a reputation for her in the faculty lounge. What could it possibly hurt to add a little more to it. It was the last block of the day—she wouldn't be missed.

Besides, it had been a while since she'd been by herself like this. The teen smiled wistfully.

Usagi sighed as she pulled the tie from her hair, allowing it to trail down to the small of her back. She raised her head high watching the changing leaves of autumn sway through the cerulean sky. Curling a tress of silver behind her ear, Usagi reached over the railing of the school roof and plucked one from mid-air. It was a rich scarlet at the center and stem while towards the leaf's points it slowly transitioned into molten gold. She twirled the leaf in her fingers, distractedly tracing the velvety veins while noticing some parts eaten through from bugs and the natural process of the fall season.

_They say autumn is the season for remembering. _

_What happens when you don't want to?_

She felt so reflective lately...but really, she should be over it by now.

She closed her eyes and breathed the fresh air in, listening to a melody from memories in the past to ease her thoughts before gradually humming along. The lullaby was soothing, gentle—it made her feel light but heavy with drowsiness, a little empty like—something was being drained from her although not unpleasantly. It was a nice feeling, not being so full all the time. Sometimes the emotions got to be so overwhelming, it made her tired. Not for the first time it brought back bittersweet memories. She could smile because they had been good times, but to remember could be so painful...

She could remember how she would open her treasured locket, tracing the points of it's five star shape. She could remember sitting in her desk at her old house—or was it supposed to be called home?—and how she would look out her window, her head resting on her folded arms while it rained. The tinkling of the locket would soft, eerie almost at how nostalgic it felt and at every note, she felt a part of her become undone. She had never been able to decide whether it was a good thing or not. Even now...

Maybe it was true. Maybe she really had needed a change. She stopped humming.

Kyoto had been shady, with underground dealings and chalk full of temptations where she had been. Crazy assholes roamed the alleys and less than ideal actions took place on the sidewalk corners where everyone turned a blind eye to. The Juuban district was not what she had in mind when she asked for a bit of change. It was drastic, and it wasn't what she wanted.

Now, here she was. Attending one of the best high schools in the country with her cousin and little to no friends. It wasn't dangerous or gloomy like life in welfare Kyoto, instead people were...people were _nice_. Except for Rei, Usagi hadn't had any trouble with anyone. The people were relatively friendly and those who weren't didn't bother her since she was used to it, and there was always Minako to snap at them. It made Usagi feel uncomfortable and a little irritated. She could take care of herself.

The thing was she felt strange and out of place in this world of prestige in Tokyo. She almost mourned the lost of her social ability, but couldn't bring herself to care. There were some nice people at Azabu, but getting close took too much effort. Minako was always at her side anyway. Blood was thicker than water, right? She knew it wasn't really nice to be reluctant to be around her cousin but she guessed she felt awkward. It had been a long time since someone genuinely cared, and Minako was family—she was partly obliged to care about her. She was such a mother hen. It felt...weird.

Even though their mothers had been sisters, Usagi didn't really feel a kinship with Minako yet. She felt as though they were distant relatives that were trying to bridge the gap through a sea of awkwardness. Minako was constantly trying to cheer her up—even though she wasn't really sad, mind you—always inquiring about her comfort and saying her home was hers too.

Home.

The word was foreign. The concept was a bit out of reach for Usagi. She had never had a home to call her own. She'd lived in a rundown apartment building on her own for so long, never minding or paying attention to anyone's opinion of her. But at this place, you couldn't get away with things like not thinking about other people. It wasn't like she never gave a shit—or that she was starting to—but Usagi really wasn't selfish. She just never had any reason to impress anyone before. Now she sort of did. She didn't want to make Minako look bad. For all her pestering, Usagi really did appreciate the effort Minako put in for her comfort. The least she could do was be a little less wild.

_Sigh_. _These really aren't the types of thoughts to dwell on..._

There wasn't much she could do about it anymore, now that she was stuck here really.

"Am I that interesting, Chiba-san?"

Mamoru's hand fell from the door. "I wasn't expecting anyone else to be here. How'd you know it was me?"

Usagi tilted her head over her shoulder, her hair illuminated by the sun peeking through the draping clouds before turning away. She let the leaf go. It streaked across the faded blue of the sky. It was dazzling, swirling with the chilly wind.

She felt oddly warmed.

"Call it instinct."

"What are you doing here, Tsukino-san? Shouldn't you be in class?"

He was unsure of how he should act since they weren't friend and weren't quite at the mark of acquaintances but there was a sort of quiet acknowledgement between the two of them. They didn't hang out or speak but they heard good things about each other, and had _a little _common ground since they knew what it was like to be everybody else's obsession. Mamoru winced at how rough he sounded but was surprised when she gave into a melodic laugh instead. It was rich and womanly, not like the light and high chiming tone of some girls he knew. It wasn't very loud, but sounded pleasant to his ears. She had a nice laugh, he thought.

"Shouldn't you?" She spoke in a murmur. "Or did you forget we share the next period?"

So caught up in his ire, Mamoru had forgotten which class exactly, he had next. If he hadn't skipped, he would've known he had his next class with Renji-sensei, the literature teacher.

"Guess I did." His breath puffed out in a cloud of fog. They stayed where they were.

Him, by the door with his bag at his feet. Her, leaning over the rail, the sunlight shimmering off her unbound, long silver hair for once.

"Skipping?"

"Yeah. Needed some air."

"Hn. Same."

"Hino-san wouldn't leave me alone."

There was a look of surprise on his face at her admission.

"I'm sorry about her." He said slowly.

She snorted. "Don't be. She doesn't know how to stop anyway. Actually, I feel bad for you."

Usagi watched as he breathed out slightly in amusement before giving a wry, barely-there kind of smile. He had a dimple in his left cheek.

"Is that so?"

She nodded.

"...thanks. I think."

When neither made any movement to say anything else Mamoru paused before coming to stand at the rail next to her, figuring that it wouldn't really matter since this particular section of the school's roof wasn't very big. Usagi didn't protest and he put a fair amount of space between them to both their comfort. He supposed he could use the company anyway. They didn't talk after that but for reasons unknown there was an unspoken agreement that they wouldn't say a word of it to Renji-sensei. It was companionable. It was different.

It felt nice.

The sakura trees turned rosy against the sun and the leaves brushed them by.

So maybe he had lied when he said he didn't care anymore. Mamoru didn't know why he said it or even believed it.

There was something about her.

Time had passed by surprisingly quickly considering the two had merely stood in silence the whole time, watching the busy streets from their view and when the bell finally rang to signal the rest of the school's dismissal both teens merely turned and grabbed their bags. There were no friendly goodbyes, just Mamoru waiting for Usagi to finish tying her hair back up which caused her to have the same appearance she had before—she no longer looked quite as vulnerable or human as when he first stumbled upon her in coincidence. The effect was astounding. Instead, she looked untouchable.

Like him.

After that, he held the door open for Usagi to go through first as was custom and tThey walked down the stairs leading to the main floor of the school together, silently parting ways in different directions once the halls began streaming with people.

Usagi walked up to Minako who smiled warmly at her as they made their way down the sidewalk in the direction of...home, and Mamoru never looked back.

It would be a while before they talked again.


	3. Chapter 3

_oOo_

**Garden of Eden: **_Heartstrings_

_oOo_

_Summary:  
She was beautiful, in a haunting sort of way. And he couldn't seem to keep away from her despite his well known aversion towards the fairer of sexes because somehow, she made it okay to be curious. Though she was strangely tragic, there was a daring spirit inside that was reckless to the point where he might have called it suicidal. He knew it, because he could relate to that whimsical edge._

_()()()_

_i don't think that they'll understand_

**Chapter 3  
**_activating circumstance_

He saw her a lot more after that.

There were brief nods of acknowledgement in the busy halls now, perhaps even rare waves of hello if either were feeling particularly generous. They didn't quite talk, since words were overrated it seemed and they didn't hang out either. He preferred to be on his own during lunch, only tolerating the presence of his closest and only friend ever since he was younger. Motoki was the one of only two people he trusted unconditionally. Tsukino-san seemed to only allow her cousin Minako to invade her personal bubble as well.

He had seen how Minako had tried getting Usagi to integrate herself into her group of friends consisting of the school tomboy Kino Makoto—a fellow orphan, shy intellectual Mizuno Ami—both Mizuno-san and Kino-san were girls he got along with fairly well too—and lastly, the overbearing Hino Rei. Each time she invited Usagi to a group lunch though, Usagi would skillfully ignore Rei's grudging look of hidden ire and subtly decline with a promise of catching up with her cousin some other time.

He remembered the downcast fall of Minako's normally cheery disposition and wondered at how the presence of her cousin had dampened her normally impenetrable optimism. He wondered if Tsukino-san was oblivious to her cousin's disappointment, or was aware of it but merely chose to ignore it. Sometimes, if he left Motoki early when he wasn't feeling hungry—though to be truthful, he never really did get hungry—he would see her the same way he saw her on the roof. Hair unbound, eyes closed, body language relaxed—she had taken to taking refuge under the largest sakura tree in the school's expansive open campus whenever she didn't go to the roof.

How would he know though? He never knew where she was.

True, Mamoru saw her more often than he used to but there would be days where he would go to class and wouldn't see her there in the ones they shared. Sometimes he would wonder if she had gone to the school roof again like the first time they skipped on the same day coincidentally, but on the one time he had finally let himself check, he found no evidence of her being there.

Did she stop coming because of him?

Somehow, he had come to expect seeing her on the roof after their one time meeting. Part of him thought himself foolish for believing her to be attached to the school roof. It was just a roof. And she rarely ever went there. Or not at all.

For some reason, the thought nagged at his conscience.

Truth be told, he saw her around the sakura trees more often now or sometimes at the very least. He supposed the slight rustle of the blossoms and the way they grazed the backdrop of the sky was a very relaxing sight to behold as he often came across her gazing at the clouds whenever she paused in her gait to get to class. He wasn't surprised. Tsukino-san did seem very artistic and prone to enjoy simple pleasures from what he'd observed.

Yes, he had become curious once more. There was something about her.

He supposed it was because the silence they shared that day had been mutually comfortable, because he found any silence comfortable but normally the people he was with during a said period of speechless company usually fidgeted and squirmed under it. Tsukino-san was different. And the few words she had spoken.

He wondered why they struck him so. They were simple and straightforward, but there was something laced underneath the tone of her voice and the meaning of the few things she said.

Which was the reason for why he was going to be approaching Minako's table at lunch, having overheard earlier Usagi reluctantly agreeing to spend lunch with her and her friends.

Minako had been ecstatic, if he could remember.

The way she had squealed and hugged Usagi certainly said so at least. His hand unconciously gripped his pencil tighter in contemplation. The softened look in Usagi's eye and the way she had tentatively hugged Minako back spoke volumes of her character. He just wasn't sure what yet. Or why she seemed hesitant to engage in human contact.

--

She was bored. Admittedly so.

Usagi sighed, staring out into the distance from where she sat, sandwiched between her cousin and Ami for lunch. She'd agreed to it the day before and due to the lovely weather, Minako had insisted they eat outside in the courtyard where many other students went when the cafeteria felt much too oppressive. It sort of helped her nerves. Fall _had_ settled over Japan rather splendidly with the vivid colours brightening against the sky..._sort of_.

Oh come on, who was she bullshitting? She wanted to leave.

She really did, but then she would guiltily remember how much it meant to Minako. Damn. So much for that thought.

Her chopsticks pushed her food around in the special bentou. It suddenly occurred to her that it had only been that morning that Minako had made it for her out of gratitude for her agreeing to spend lunch with her and her friends today. She took a bite of her sushi, chewing slowly to savour the surprisingly good taste and savouring the satisfying sensation on her taste buds. Minako had learned to cook well while they were apart. Usagi would have to ask who taught her. The thought made her smile. She remembered how Minako used to burn eggs when she volunteered to make breakfast at their traditional family reunions. They'd been so close, getting flour from baking cookies all over their faces whenever they were together.

They had been like sisters.

What had happened, Usagi wondered as her smile transitioned, holding a sadder feel to it. Right—_she_ happened. She'd been horrible to Minako after she hit fourteen. Threw away a perfectly good relationship for some wild fun that hadn't even been worth it in the end, and now that she was here she didn't talk to her cousin nearly enough. They were like strangers in the same house. Usagi stared determinedly at her dynamite rolls—she had to make it up to her. It was the least she could do. Hino-san's glares weren't all that scary anyway. And after the trivial introductions, lunch really wasn't that bad...boredom was just a small price to pay after all.

Besides, over the few times she'd spoken to Minako's friends like Kino-san—now dubbed Mako-chan at her insistence—they had clicked rather well. Usagi found that she rather liked the tall brunette and was fond of Mizuno Ami as well despite Rei's attempts to alienate her from their group and the whole school. The girls—excluding Rei—had all gotten along famously, or at least as much as they could to Usagi's standards. She still wasn't quite okay with the idea of socializing and other girl bonding rituals like slumber parties, gossiping secrets and games of '_Have You Ever?' _or _'Truth or Dare'. _

But maybe that was because when Usagi was at fourteen, she'd been doing much more daring things than egging the mean old lady's house next door...

_Bad thoughts_—

"So Usagi-chan, how do you like it here so far?"

Usagi looked up, saw Makoto's openly warm smile and couldn't help the slight tilt of her mouth in response.

"Define 'like'." Usagi quipped dryly, raising a brow challengingly at Rei's tight grip on her chopsticks. Minako gave her a warning glance and then Rei's grip loosened, but the stormy expression on her beautiful face remained.

Ami smiled at her genially while Makoto gave a loud laugh. "Well, I don't know. You tell me."

"It's alright, I guess." Usagi said around the riceball taking residence in her left cheek before she swallowed. "I wasn't really expecting anything..."

The brunette raised a brow. "Just _'alright'_? Didn't _'expect anything'?_ Girl, do you know what school you're going to? Azabu is like, drama central!"

Ami giggled. "I thought Minako-chan was supposed to be the drama queen."

"Please..." Rei's mutterance went ignored.

Minako and Usagi snorted in a fashion so eerily alike that it made Makoto's sheepish grin turn wicked. Surely if Minako had had her share of boys, then Usagi had to have had some too, right? Makoto reasoned that if Minako had a long string of flings with her unique blonde hair than surely Usagi must've been properly pursured with the way she was so fair compared to any other Japanese woman Makoto had come across.

Therefore, she had to ask. " Have you met anyone? Seen any male candy you want a piece of?"

Rei's grip tightened again and Ami wondered at her sudden attentiveness. Rei crossed her legs in feigned disinterest.

Usagi raised a brow but at Makoto's unyielding expectance she shrugged nonchalantly. "I've seen better."

Makoto gaped.

"Surely you're just kidding, Usagi-san?" Ami asked, ever the polite one. "I mean, I don't really pay attention to the males at this school but even I have to admit there are some rather fine specimens around here."

_She made them sound like little science experiments._ Usagi marvelled.

Minako grinned approvingly at Ami. "Yeah, Usa-chan! I bet you're just too shy to admit you have a crush."

"_Her_, have a crush on someone?" Rei laughed incredulously, joining the conversation openly now. "And here I thought you were too good for any of the guys around. They all throw themselves at you like you're the best thing to come around and you just shrug it off like it's an everyday thing for you!"

Somehow, the bitterness in her tone warned Usagi to tread carefully. But it was so much more fun not caring at all.

"It kinda is, Hino-san." Usagi remarked straightout. "...In Kyoto it was, at least."

Rei latched onto the supposed past tense of the sentence and held it close to herself.

"Really?! So do you have some hot boyfriend waiting for you back home then?" Makoto exclaimed. She had hearts in her eyes. "Gosh, that'd be so romantic..."

"Uhmm..." Usagi reeled, unaccustomed to such blatant romanticism.

_Wasn't Makoto supposed to be the tough tomboy? I thought Minako was the dramatic and hopeless romantic..._

She smirked, remembering childhood declarations of when Minako claimed to be the 'Goddess of Love'. The good old days.

"You don't have to say if you don't want to, Usagi-san." Ami voiced another of her few comments during the whole lunch and Usagi felt grateful for the other girl's intuitive understanding.

"Thanks."

"No problem."Ami smiled. "Although, I _am_ curious..."

_Damn_.

"Fine. Yes."

"Yes what?" Minako prompted.

Usagi paused, placing her chopsticks down on the table as she leaned back. "Yeah, I guess he _could_ be called my boyfriend."

Minako gasped excitedly and even Rei looked interested. "What was he like?"

_What was he like?_ Usagi repeated within her mind. Why did the question leave such a bitter taste in her mouth?

"Usagi-chan, what was he like?" Makoto prodded.

_Not worth my time. _"He was good to me."

"_Was?_" Rei questioned.

"We broke up."

The evident past tense in the way she spoke didn't seem like much of a comfort anymore.

The explanation was abrupt and Minako immediately backtracked, her mischievous expression becoming one akin to the one she always wore when she was struggling to hide her discomfort whenever she felt like walking on eggshells around her cousin. Usagi recognized it. She'd seen it more than once since she arrived, more than she'd have cared to witness it.

Minako was extremely curious. She had so many more questions...but the foreboding expression in Usagi's eyes—no matter how she hid it rather well—spoke of dark memories contrary to her light and uncaring tone.

"Oh."

_What a puzzle you're turning out to be, Usagi..._

"Ah, I'm sorry I asked—" Rei swallowed her speechlessness back. She wasn't even supposed to like Usagi. "Ahem...You probably had it coming."

Usagi's hazy eyes glinted. "I'd appreciate it Hino-san, if you wouldn't presume to understand what you don't even know."

Usagi stood.

_Uh oh._ "Usagi-chan, wait. Don't mind Rei-chan—it's just the way she is..."

"Sorry, Minako but I think I should go. I think I'm messing with your space." She glanced at Rei and had already shouldered her bag before working on folding the cloth Minako had used to fold her bentou in.

"I'll see you later though okay?" She added, a bit more apologetic. "After school. We'll walk together."

They always walked together. But Minako supposed that being _offered_ instead of being the one _offering_ felt nice...

Minako bit her lip as her cousin turned to walk away, her back fading from view. Still though, when she turned to look her raven-haired friend in the eye, she wondered at why her eyes suddenly skittered away so uneasily.

--

Tsukino-san wasn't there.

He repeated the realization in his head, turning it over this way and that.

She wasn't there.

What the hell—she wasn't _there_.

_Damn. Just missed her._

Mamoru frowned. Renji-sensei had found out about his skipping class that steadily became the bad habit it had been during his sophomore year. This was _before_ he realized how much he wanted to get the hell out of this town. Needless to say, detention had been boring as fuck—by the time he had gotten out to go to Minako's table to speak with Tsukino-san the group of girls had already been clearing out their stuff. Minako looked exceptionally pissed off—he attributed it to something Rei must've said to her cousin considering she was the only one not there.

She didn't seem like the type to bail out on her promises and Rei didn't seem like the type to _not_ be territorial.

So now he was back at the roof. He wasn't sure why he decided to go to the roof since there was nothing all that important to take up space in his thought process and he didn't feel like doing homework and getting ahead. He went to his preferred spot on the roof on the far right corner by the rail and after only a few moments later, found Usagi's luminous mane of hair walking past his view. He watched her, waiting for her to turn to him. She must've known he was there though as it didn't take long for her to turn her head upwards and see him there.

He nodded with a very slight wave.

Usagi gave a nod of acknowledgement.

"I'll be right there." She had said.

And in another five minutes, she was.

--

He greeted her amiably. "Tsukino-san."

She leaned up against the rail to his left.

"Hello, Chiba-san."

_Icy courtesy. Bad day? _He wondered.

"We have to stop meeting like this." Mamoru commented.

Usagi sighed. "What better place is there to talk than here? Anywhere else, and either your fangirls would eat me alive or gossip would spread faster than we'd like. No offense, but I don't feel like getting caught in any drama."

Mamoru stared and Usagi gave him a quizzical look. "What?"

"Nothing." Mamoru admitted. "That's just the most I've ever heard you say."

She'd been there nearly a month after all. And this was at least the third or fourth time they'd actually taken the time to speak more than a handful of words to each other.

"Tch, uh huh."

"Do you like it here?"

She gave him an incredulous look. "Sure I do."

_That means no_.

"Are you always so articulate?"

_Sarcasm is very much appreciated, Chiba. _The female half of the duo thought to herself.

"Yes." Usagi rolled her eyes."Seriously, Chiba-san? Am I supposed to like it here?"

"No. Guess not."

_Yeah, definitely a bad day. _

"Yeah. Not much to like here, anyway."

_Or bad mood. Whatever. __Ouch_.

Mamoru smirked to himself. "I see."

"Do you really?" She turned to him. He got the feeling she was talking about more than what they were really saying.

"Really what?"

"I'm just wondering." Usagi shrugged.

"About?"

"Whether you really know what's going on around you I guess. What's so great about you anyway?"

Mamoru looked away, caught off guard.

_Rei's fault. Definitely Rei's fault._

"I don't know."

"Hn."

And then their customary silence took place once more.

Usagi realized something. "I have to go."

He hadn't said goodbye yet, but figured he would see her again soon anyway.

--

"So."

"So...?"

"You didn't come to Renji-sensei's class, Usagi-chan."

Usagi slid her lidded gaze to glance at her cousin. They didn't share that class.

"I know." She turned around and kept her eyes forward. The house was a few more minutes away, and Minako was biting her lip. This was her giveaway habit. Apparently the smooth red hue her lips had wasn't quite to her satisfaction with the way she worried it with her teeth.

"I...what were you doing with Chiba-san?"

"What were you doing with Furuhata-san?"

It was a wild guess, just thrown out there.

Minako flushed, stuttering. "I...How do you...?"

Usagi smirked as Minako futilely attempted to hide her blush with her hair, and failing when the wind blew her long lemon locks back behind her so that her face was open to Usagi's inspection.

"So I was right." Usagi mused before looking at Minako skeptically. "You know he has a girlfriend in Reika-san don't you?"

Minako huffed. "I know that. Can't blame a girl for hoping though, can you? Besides...I just, hey _wait!_ Don't change the subject!"

_That was almost too easy. _

"Who said anything about changing the subject?"

Usagi smiled innocently at her cousin and for a moment, Minako paused to allow the beauty of Usagi's smile sink in.

Ever since Usagi had arrived, it had been a chore to try and get a reply from her cousin younger than her by a year, and the older of the two had had to exercise painstaking patience just to get Usagi comfortable around her. It made her wonder what had happened to make her cousin who was once so bright, become so antisocial and closed off from the rest of the world. If Minako had ever gotten Usagi to smile during the few weeks she'd been living in Tokyo, her smile would be a ghost of her old exuberant one and Minako would be left to reminisce on the times where her little cousin had been so much more upbeat.

Minako could remember traditional family reunions every summer greeted by a blazing ball of happiness that was her cousin Usagi. She could remember tea parties, games of house, hide and seek in the expansive forest at the cabins they used to go to, and afternoons spent running around chasing after a laughing Usagi in tag. Her cousin had been a five-year-old innocent glowing little girl with golden spun hair that lightened as summer rolled around every year for another family reunion. However, as the years passed Usagi grew slimmer, taller, more beautiful and mature until finally, on the edge of turning fifteen, she had come to embody the things she now represented at seventeen.

She lost her inherited clumsiness—a trait that they had shared, one they had both received from their mothers and suffered equally from during their preteen years and became almost an ethereal graceful person. She laughed and spoke quieter yet became wilder and almost uncontrollable. The summer Minako and her family had come to see Usagi when she was about to turn fifteen was a disappointment and one that made Minako not want to remember.

She had spent that summer finding things to entertain herself with while Usagi went out with friends. She could remember the feeling of rejection each time Usagi gave her a goodbye kiss, a smile and a promise to tell her about the fun before going off with friends Minako never remembered her telling her about. A lot of them had been good looking boys with a few sassy mouthed females.

Her cousin had grown up without her and each time Minako stood next to her younger cousin that summer, she could remember feeling unworthy—almost painfully inadequate. Nothing had ever hurt more than the feeling of being left behind by her cousin that had always been her best friend. From then on, Minako had attempted hopelessly to bridge the gap that had grown between them without her noticing and would swallow past the urge to tear up when Usagi would unknowingly pierce her pride to pieces by leaving her hanging.

By the time Minako turned eighteen she had grown on her own and became more confident, less bothered by the fact that her cousin seemed to want nothing to do with her. But now, here she was—living in the same house as her, going to the same school, sharing some of the same classes and envious or lustful stares at the school. It didn't bother Minako since it shortened the list of suitors after her, but it still felt strange losing something she had become accustomed to...

Not to mention, the number one school hottie—that even Minako could admit to being attracted to at some point or another—who was also the school recluse, seemed to be interested in Usagi. Minako had never seen her fellow upperclassmen so curious before. To make matters worse, Minako had seen the way her close friend Rei had went back to her fangirl alter-ego personality the moment her cousin walked through the door of Iwamori-sensei's class that fateful day and how ever since then, her fiery friend had done everything she could to engage her cousin into a fight.

It was almost frightening how different Rei now was from the sweet and shy girl she had met in her freshman year. It bothered her too, how she might one day have to pick between flesh and blood, and one of her closest and best friends. The decision should've been straightforward, but it was hard to decide with the way things had changed as the years passed by.

Usagi frowned at the contemplative look on Minako's face.

"Is something bothering you?"

Minako snapped her head to the right where Usagi had turned to her. She hadn't realized she'd stopped walking in her deep thoughts. She took a deep breath.

"No, it's nothing. I'm fine." Minako walked to match Usagi's pace when her cousin looked at her. Another change—Usagi had grown freakishly perceptive during their time away from each other. What happened to that oblivious innocence she used to love? "You still haven't answered the question."

The analytical look—was that concern that had flickered away from her face?—disappeared from Usagi's face. Minako raised a brow. One thing that hadn't changed. Usagi always looked away when she wanted to avoid answering something, as though she were musing on the best possible way to answer it without raising any suspicion.

"Well?"

Her face's tight expression turned slack. "I just had a lot on my mind."

"So you decided to seek comfort in Chiba-kun's company?" Minako asked sarcastically.

Usagi gave her a swift look. "I was there first. He just showed up."

_Okay so maybe the first time that had been the case and not today, but as far as Minako knows_—_today was the first time. _

One white lie.

"And you didn't tell him to leave?"

Her shoulders drooped. "Too much effort."

Another white lie.

Minako glanced at her skeptically. Another thing that remained the same. Usagi didn't enjoy confrontations for the most part. "So you decided to skip class and bond together on the roof instead?"

Usagi shrugged shameleslly. "Suppose we did."

_That one's a half truth._

Well. Thing that had changed. Usagi was now much more candid.

"And what did you talk about?"

"Talk?" Usagi echoed. "We didn't talk. It was quiet for the most part."

_Damn. Strike three, Usagi. That's the third lie you've told your cousin today._

The house was looming closer now that they'd turned a corner. A few more steps and Usagi would be able to retreat to her room. Relief rushed through her. The whole second degree was rather irritating to her sense of personal space. It was like an invasion of privacy with everyone today! First Hino with her constant badgering—Chiba this, Chiba that, he's mine, he's mine, he's _mine!_—like jeez, find somebody else to obsess over! Then Chiba-san bursting to the roof top the other day and interrupting her melancholy thoughts—she supposed she could be grateful with that, since memory lane had become so morbid as of late instead of being that peaceful getaway it once was...and really, he wasn't so bad. He was actually rather normal and unintruding for the most part—ack! Not going there.

For the most part, they were even as of today.

Now her cousin—beloved Minako—looked as though she suspected her and Chiba-san of doing less than respectable things. Really, nothing happened at all. Was it so wrong to share amiable silence?

"That's strange." Minako replied experimentally. "Chiba-kun isn't really known for sharing the roof with other people."

At Usagi's perplexed expression, Minako elaborated. "It's where he goes when he wants to be on his own."

They were walking up the steps of the front porch now and her hand paused on opening the door knob. "He goes there often?"

Minako nodded, albeit confused at the inquiry.

Usagi on the other hand, merely turned away pursing her lips, unsure as to why she even asked.

--

The next day at school, Mamoru found a single slip of paper in his locker. He stared in slight awe at the elegant writing. There was no name to say who it was from, yet he knew deep down, who had sent it. It just didn't occur to him to wonder how she knew where his locker was.

_I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude. _


	4. Chapter 4

_oOo_

**Garden of Eden: **_Heartstrings_

_oOo_

_Summary:  
She was beautiful, in a haunting sort of way. And he couldn't seem to keep away from her despite his well known aversion towards the fairer of sexes because somehow, she made it okay to be curious. Though she was strangely tragic, there was a daring spirit inside that was reckless to the point where he might have called it suicidal. He knew it, because he could relate to that whimsical edge._

_()()()_

_she was either very brave or very stupid_

**Chapter 4  
**_confrontations_

_She_ _saw it_.

Tsu-_fucking_-kino _Usagi_ slipped a note into _his_ locker.

Honest to fucking God, she _saw_ it. She saw Minako's fucking, impassive snobby _bitch_ of a cousin do it. She knew what she saw. She couldn't possibly have imagined it. It wasn't luck. It couldn't be. There was no way.

Everyone knew where Mamoru's locker was.

And what the hell was that?

Why was he staring at that paper like it was freaking amazing?

It wasn't amazing. It _isn't_.

Mamoru smiled slightly, intrigued. He pocketed the note. He would ask her later, he told himself.

Rei's temper snapped.

--

They were talking about her.

Usagi grimaced. She'd been hearing shit all morning, in the halls, change rooms, classrooms. It wasn't like she wasn't used to being talked about—people did way worse at Kyoto and Usagi could count her graces in at least being free of getting physical with anyone. Still though, what was everyone so interested in? She'd gone through the last three weeks in relative silence and people had accepted her easily—well, ignored more like it but she hadn't minded the lack of attention as it had been a rather new and welcome change for once.

No queen bees, no self-absorbed jocks, no idiotic womanizers and no overused personas of school bad boys. Even the bitchy girls had left her alone.

Why the hell were people talking now that she had settled? What was the whole point?

Even though she could care less about other people's opinions, this was getting ridiculous and so Usagi racked her brain for any social suicides she might've committed—but came up blank. Nothing. Zilch. _Nada_.

_Was it something I said?_ Usagi pondered sardonically.

They were talking about her and she didn't know why. She felt strangely curious about the reason. Azabu had been boring and in conclusion, caused her life to be boring as well. A little excitement perhaps would do her a little good?

"Did you hear...?"

"I heard she did some bad, shady stuff in Kyoto. That's the reason she got sent here."

First, it was a group of curious boys. The kind that were turned on by the idea of a bad girl. Which wasn't that bad, because it was just guys being guys. Who the hell said '_shady'_ anymore, anyway? There was nothing to worry about there.

"Oh yeah. Now that you mention it, she _did_ say she got expelled from her old school on the first day."

"Tch, what a stupid move."

But then, it was a group of snobby rich girls with self-esteem issues, ramming on her to make themselves feel better. Usagi found that just plain sad. So instead of getting angry, she pitied them. Nobody liked it when someone felt sorry for them after all. It was a matter of pride.

"Can you believe she even _comes_ from that dump? I mean, Tsukino-san looks so classy..."

"What are you talking about? She looks too good to be true. No one can be that perfect. She's hiding something. Besides, she doesn't even wear her uniform right. She wears it like a _punk_." The last word was spoken derisively.

After that, there were the self-proclaimed gossips of the school. And oh _sure_, her little fashion statement with her uniform was a completely reasonable thing to base their impressions on. She didn't know that you could still judge someone when everybody wore the same thing. Airheads.

It was like they didn't even care that she was walking right by them and could hear every word they said. You'd think that with the way intrigue seemed to follow rich kids like wet blankets they'd have learned to gossip _quietly _and _whisper_ with the stupid etiquette classes they were given and their crash courses on false pretenses and fake attitudes or underhanded deals. Seriously, Usagi barely ever heard any of them swear. In Kyoto, there wasn't a single teenager or adult that didn't let it rip. Every other word spoken had been a swear, come to think of it.

"Whatever. I say she's a bitch—"

_Never mind_, Usagi thought dryly. _How controversial._

Usagi snorted quietly to herself and ignored the glare that the gossip gave her and the nervous, sheepish look on the face of her lackey friend. She rolled her eyes, wagging the fingers of her right hand in a mocking wave. She'd have felt sorry for the other girl as she seemed rather nice compared to the other one, but what was the point? She'd never stand up for herself anytime soon anyway if she hadn't done it on her own already. She'd probably gotten used to being a follower and now that Usagi knew of their opinion, her curiosity was sated.

She didn't need to intervene any further so she turned back to the board in time for Renji-sensei to search out a victim for his next question.

_It'll die down after a while anyway._

--

_Or not. _Usagi thought darkly.

The soft whispers—that were actually a bit loud—had turned into people placing their hands in front of their mouths, furtive glances, discreet pointing and many paranoid looks given to her as though to check whether or not she knew they were talking about her. Of course she knew! What the hell did they take her for?

A Class-A moron, _duh_. It was annoying.

They were so stupid, only exercising caution now that she was already positive they were talking about her. So this wasn't going to die down after all. It was going to get _worse._ This was so _stupid. _They suddenly thought they were so much better than her. Granted, it had been amusing for a while, watching them as they each competed for who could slight her in the cruelest way possible, only for it to backfire as she calmly ignored the insults to her person, the rumors about her—she had to admit she couldn't be insulted when some of them had a grain of truth anyway.

But then the pranks came.

Oh God, the pranks came along and then it was just a whole new level of low. Some of them were irritatingly unoriginal, but the fact that they tried was still a mild nuisance.

They vandalized her locker. Her gym strip went missing. Spitballs became common. Her homework was stolen and she was given detention. They did as much as they could to get her to trip, pushing, shoving. Anything to see a loss of dignity. And then there was the fact that people constantly tried to spill things on her. Things that would stain.

She'd already had to go through a whole day of school walking with a coke stain on her school blouse. She was only grateful she wore the black one that day over the optional white.

But she still didn't react.

She still went to class. She left the vulgar words etched onto her locker. It wasn't that bad being called a bitch—they could do worse. She went to gym borrowing Minako's extra gym uniform or alternating with Ami as Makoto was a bit taller than her, and Rei—well, just the thought of Rei spoke for itself. She had ducked every spitball with ease and calmly accepted her detentions, showing up for attendance and then slipping away once the teacher supervising left. She would hand in her assignments a day late, ignoring the admonishing or skeptical looks her teachers gave her.

Usagi couldn't really prevent herself from tripping though, so she did her best to step over the extended legs and strengthen her balance against the shoves. And if all else failed, she grabbed onto something when she could. The food stains were a little over the top but she calmly wiped the condiments off her clothes and then continued to eat, knowing her prolonged presence in the cafeteria with Minako often angered them further at her subtle show of defiance.

Sadly, She was beginning to despise ketchup though.

When a lengthened period of attacks passed and hadn't stopped, Minako, Ami and Makoto began to see the light after her skillful lying and hiding skills had run out, deteriorating with her weariness. They had been suspicious over the way she mysteriously began to constantly forget her change of clothes for gym but had backed off at her insistence. It was only in a matter of days that they soon expressed their worry for her when they became completely aware of the fact that her 'legitimate reasons' had actually been lies and excuses. Usagi waved them off and shrugged.

People had become a little more apprehensively merciful with their harassment though.

Usagi raised a brow one day when Minako unleashed a dangerous glare when she thought she wasn't looking. Then Makoto joined in, threatening people by holding up capable fists. The protective gestures had been touching, but unnecessary. Usagi continued her days unaffected. She was _not_ going to talk to Setsuna about this. But then even _Ami_—sweet, reasonable _Ami_ began to let a roll of scathing comments loose when people attempted to verbally assault her when pranks eternally ceased to rattle her.

When even the normally shy, peace-keeping Ami lost her temper, Usagi was left to re-evaluate her situation.

Was it really getting that bad? She frowned, the reason for their sudden animosity continued to remain anonymous. It wasn't until she walked down the hall, thinking of skipping P.E. class today that she passed by a group of girls near the bathroom whispering fervently about her wrong-doings.

--

"—trying to gain Chiba-kun's attention like that. Who does she think she is, putting a slip in his locker? She probably threw herself at him on the first day and still hasn't gotten over the fact that he's rejected her."

Usagi narrowed her eyes. Chiba again.

_Aah, the fangirls. Of course._

But why do they think it was her that put a note in his locker? They barely even talked or hung out, how could she possibly know where his locker was?

"I don't know...Tsukino-san doesn't really seem like that. She barely says a word, Yukina-chan."

"Oh, Kairi-chan...haven't you _learned?_ It's always the quiet ones you should watch out for."

"I don't know..." the one called Kairi hesitated. Her meek protest went unheard.

"And that little whore thinks she's above fighting back. Have you seen the way she just brushes things off like they're nothing?!"

"But...I admire Tsukino-san for her level temper though...and she doesn't seem like a bad pers—"

"Shut up, Kairi!" The one called Yukina snapped. "God, you should know that people are just fakes. Nobody's for real except for _some _people like us."

Well, that was mildly hypocritical.

"Tsukino isn't one of them. You're just a wuss. What are you, scared that Tsukino-san will hate you? You're pathetic, if anything _you_ should hate her! She's the one who's new, invading our school like she belongs here and taking Chiba-kun away from..."

There was a rustle as they went into the stalls of the bathroom. Usagi missed the name of the person she had supposedly taken Chiba from.

"I mean it's so obvious that they belong together!" Yukina continued as they walked out to touch up their make-up. "They look so good next to each other and if I have to lose Chiba-kun to anyone, then I'll be glad it'll be to her. At least she's one of us, so she deserves him. Not like Tsukino. What kind of name is 'rabbit' anyway? Her parents must've been high. Or maybe it's just her slutty alter-ego—"

_Slut...slut...slut._

_I'll make you feel good...good...good...my fair bunny. I'll take care of you_—

The thoughts hit her conscience dully.

"Tch, and to think...she's related to Aino-sempai! Hah, what a disgrace."

"Maybe we should go Yukina-chan. We're going to be late—"

She walked away. She didn't need to hear this anymore. Her steps were rapid and soundless against the linoleum floor of the halls.

_On second thought, P.E. sounds good right about now._

She walked quickly to her locker, and felt a small sliver of gratitude at her gym strip being where she left it for once. She'd have to thank Setsuna for offering her another lock. The woman had a strange way of knowing things. She slipped the white shorts on, tugging a little so they covered to mid-thigh. As she slipped her boots off and pushed her feet into her blacks sneakers she pulled the hem of the uniform's black t-shirt to her waist and tightened her ponytail out of habit.

--

"Tsukino? Where's Tsukino?"

Usagi jogged onto the upper field. "Hai!"

"You're late, Tsukino." her teacher answered gruffly.

Usagi bowed, contrite. "I'm sorry, Himura-sensei. It won't happen again."

Himura-sensei was a broad-shouldered man in his early thirties. His hair was short and he wore his clothes practically for the subject he taught at Azabu. He observed the young girl critically, noticing how she stayed in her submissive bow. She must've felt his hard stare as her azure eyes peered up at him through the shroud of her unruly fringe. His stare clashed against her own, and her back straightened unnoticeably to anyone else.

"It _better_ not happen again."

Usagi rose from her bow, looking him in the eye fearlessly.

"Thank you, sensei."

He turned his onyx gaze away from her.

_Hmph, interesting._

He gave it a slight thought before dropping the duffel bag of soccer balls to the ground.

"We'll be playing elimination. Half of you will play on the left side of the field, half of you on the right. Beat the teams you verse and you go on to play the winners from the game on either side. Understood? Groups of five. Make it quick." Himura-sensei explained. "Tsukino, once you've got a team get on the field. Are we clear?"

"Crystal."

As Himura-sensei walked away, Usagi became surrounded by the three girls she was beginning to accept. They wouldn't be leaving her alone anytime soon anyway.

"So what was the hold-up, Usa?" came Makoto's boisterous voice.

Minako's voice came next. "Yeah, I thought you weren't going to come again."

Usagi shrugged. "Like I said, I got held up by Renji-sensei. The guy has it out for me."

"Tch, only like everyone else." Makoto quipped.

"Whatever. Where's Ami? We need a group of five."

"Right here, Usagi-chan!" Ami called. She had taken to calling her with the -chan suffix after Usagi told her to drop the -san.

She came up next to Makoto, followed by Rei. Upon seeing each other the two radical opposites of the group gave each other strained nods. Ami looked apologetic.

Usagi turned. "Let's go."

"God, we're coming, Tsukino. Who made you leader?"

"Touchy." Usagi smirked as Rei bristled. "Himura did. Satisfied?"

There was a stare-down. Each respective eyes said words they wouldn't voice in front of their audience.

_I don't like you_. was what Rei's said, molten violet eyes snapping.

Usagi raised a perfectly arched brow, cerulean eyes glittering. _You don't have to._

_"Move it, ladies!"_

"Tch. After you, Tsukino." Rei extended an arm in mock courtesy.

The three spectators watched the exchange, poleaxed as they followed the two girls to the field.

"Alright, positions!" the group of five arranged themselves accordingly.

Makoto and Ami positioned themselves in defensive positions. Makoto's height and agility with Ami's superior sight proving a worthy defense. Minako stationed herself a little in front of them, as she had no real experience with soccer. Rei herself used to play competitive soccer and jogged for position of center forward—the player that went for scoring goals.

_Not today. _Usagi thought grimly. _I could use a little venting_.

She stepped into place quickly, stumbling into Rei as though on accident. Rei seethed as Usagi made no move to allow her to play the most aggressive part of the team but took a breath.

"Sorry, Hino-san." She didn't look sorry.

_She'll probably get murdered anyway. _Rei comforted herself. _Azabu has the best soccer players._

"It's fine." Rei bit out. "I'll just play on the side."

Himura-sensei tossed the ball between Usagi and her opponent, a slender girl with dark chocolate eyes and thick honey-brown hair, lighter than that of Makoto's chestnut locks.

Rei inwardly rejoiced. The girl Usagi would have to face was Nagai Eri, a girl of respectable skill in all sports. She looked Eri in the face with respect and found the respect mirrored back at her as Eri gave her a slight grin.

"Play hard ladies, your men are watching!"

Usagi's competitive spirit grew and she bent her kees in ready position, her body tense in wait. There was some cheering from the boys of the class that just arrived, but she ignored it. It had been a while since she played—the girls on the sideline grinned smugly at her and her eyes narrowed—but she would make sure she enjoyed this no matter what.

_Was that Yukina-san playing goalie?_ Usagi wondered. _Who knew she could play sports past her fucking gossiping?_

Usagi went into game mode, staring past Eri at Yukina. Yukina gave a slight nervous shuffle. She hadn't heard what she said, had she?

_Shit_.

Himura blew the whistle. Usagi smiled.

_You're mine_.

The girls either watching or not playing in the game on the other side of the field watched in awe. Eri and Usagi had gone for the ball at the same moment, their long and toned legs extended. Everyone was sure that Eri would get the ball. She had reigned in soccer for nearly forever, just as volleyball was Minako's area of expertise.

But it was with shocking finesse, that Usagi stole the ball from Eri's sure feet.

--

Mamoru walked over towards the girls side of the field with the rest of the boys. Not for the first time, he wondered why Azabu had some units in the physical department be separated from their usual co-ed classes. He found it pointless to separate them just so the girls wouldn't be so over outmatched by the boys. It wasn't like they couldn't keep up with them if they really wanted to.

"Man, I can't believe Himura's actually going to make us watch the girls play soccer today." some of the guys complained the closer they got to the other side.

"Aw, come on you guys. It can't be that bad." Motoki grinned, folding his arms behind his head. "If it makes you feel better, at least you get to watch girls get aggressive. Plus, there's those shorts they wear as part of the school code."

"I didn't take you for a closet pervert, Motoki." Mamoru answered him as the rest of the group murmured appreciatively to themselves, their spirits signicficantly lifted.

Motoki held his hands. "Hey, hey. I only got eyes for Reika."

"Uh huh." Mamoru raked a hand through his windblown hair. "That's why you stare at Aino-san longer than you're supposed to."

Motoki looked away. Their other friend Kunzite, came to his rescue.

"Can it, Mamoru. Everyone knows you got the hots for the new transferee, Tsukino-san." He smirked, an action so unlike him that Mamoru nearly took a double-take. It was almost unnerving how Kunzite's coloring resembled Usagi's with his pale, almost white hair and blue-gray eyes. The only thing setting them apart was his last name and his tanned skin from playing co-captain on the senior boys soccer team that Mamoru led.

Mamoru scowled. "Those are just rumors."

He had heard of how people began terrorizing Usagi soon after the day he received the note in his locker. There was suddenly more hostility towards her, whereas before everyone accepted her, not caring about her existence. Now though, they pranked her, degraded her, insulted her and just did everything they could to make her life a living hell. The reason for the sudden dislike towards Minako's cousin was still obscure to Mamoru but he had a feeling that it had to do with him.

Everyone in Azabu regarded him in high esteem. The girls obsessively hung on to his every word and most guys avoided him out of resentment before they got to know he was relatively apathetic to the attentions of the female population in their school. A part of him felt guilty for becoming curious about Usagi, knowing that if he hadn't taken such an interest people wouldn't be bothering her so much.

It was too late though. He should've been trying to get people to leave her alone but that would only add fuel to the fire, leaving him stuck to turn a blind eye to all the things happening to her.

"They don't seem like rumors to me." Jin griped, the blonde hair he received from being part American, waving in the slight breeze. Mamoru, Kunzite and he had met just last year and though Mamoru didn't trust them the way he trusted Motoki, he could admit to appreciating their company.

The two other boys of their small rag-tag group were Nasaki and Jin's brother Zach, though they called him Zoi for no other reason except for a childhood incident that caused the name to stick. Their parents had found it humorous to name their younger son with a name foreign to Japan while Jin received an average Japanese name. The six young men weren't necessarily friends but had grown exceptionally close due to many afternoons at soccer practice.

"It's true, Mamoru." Zoi nagged. "Ever since she got here, you've started skipping again."

He was always the most academically dedicated.

"Ooh, what have you been doing with Minako's cousin? Going off in secret for a little action?"

"Despite what you think, I'm not interested in Tsukino-san." Mamoru denied. "I respect her because she's Aino-san's cousin and I respect Minako. Besides, Tsukino doesn't bother me like the rest of the idiotic girls at this school."

"Okay, okay." Motoki placated, holding his hands up. "Whatever you say.You don't like her—"

"I still say he's crushing on her." Kunzite sniffed, before glaring at Nasaki.

Nasaki had punched him in the arm. "Leave Mamoru alone, Kunzite. Don't get cranky because the girl _you_ like is dense."

"I don't _like _Minako." Kunzite muttered under his breath, but he quickened his pace until they were all standing at the sidelines with the rest of the guys.

Usagi and Eri's teams had already set up. Jin whistled. "Man, check out Tsukino's legs."

"Shut up, Jin."

"I thought you didn't like her, Mamoru."

He glared and the group silenced. "Look, can we just watch the fucking game?"

He turned back to the game, ignoring it when Rei as well as the girls standing on the sidelines with them gave him surreptitious looks. He observed Usagi carefully, knowing that she wasn't paying attention to him by the determined expression on her face.

There was something different about her today. She looked more alive, angrier.

"I feel bad for Tsukino's team. They're going to get crushed," came the imperious comments of the girls standing next to them.

"No kidding. She'll probably miss all her goals."

"Or better yet, she'll trip over her own feet trying to get the ball there!" The girls laughed, raucous and snide.

It grated on Mamoru's nerves. He stared at them coldly and they immediately shut up.

Motoki and the others laughed but watched with attention. It had to be interesting if Tsukino was going to play, after all.

Himura blew the whistle. It gave a loud screech...

Her breathing had escalated from the adrenaline. She felt hot and light with the need to exert the extra energy. The whistle had gone off.

The next thing Mamoru and everyone else knew, the ball dropped and Usagi's leg lashed out. She kicked the ball through the opening in Eri's stance and twisted around the girl with flawless—almost _primal_ grace. A slight flick of her ankle and the ball was in her control. Usagi streaked towards the opposite net. She avoided all the other team's eager defenders like it was the easiest thing she'd ever done. And when she had ran for a few minutes, stopping a fair distance away from the net she kicked the ball.

The ball went arcing towards the net swiftly. The girl playing goal-keeper who he recognized as Moriyama Yukina from freshman year, looked so stricken with fear by the speed and force with which the ball moved. The ball was zooming in fast, but Yukina still didn't move. She stood, completely immobile and suddenly panicked. What do you do when you play goalie again, she wondered before she was hit with faultless accuracy. There was a sickening thud as the the soccer ball made contact with the girl's soft stomach.

"_Oomph!_" she grunted, flying backwards. She was cushioned by the crisscrossing pattern of the net before keeling over.

There was unanimous silence as people stopped to let what they just observed sink in. Tsukino Usagi—the slip of a girl who _looked_ harmless—was more than they all expected.

Yukina was pale when she collapsed to the ground, gasping for breath as the ball bounced away, suddenly harmless as it rolled to her right. There was a flurry of voices once Usagi lowered her leg.

"That was the craziest shit I ever saw! Go, Tsukino!" Jin howled before muttering, decibels lower. "_Damn_, that's hot."

"Oh my God! Did you _see_ that?!"

"What the _hell!_" Kunzite and Zoi gawked.

"She was trying to kill Yukina-san!"

One of Yukina's friends—was it Kairi?—ran over to her in concern, slinging her arm over her shoulders.

"Good thinking, Moriyama! Of course you're supposed to stand still when a ball's flying at 'ya like that! " Himura-sensei commented with false approval before scowling. "For God's sake, Yukina—_move_ next time. It's your own damn fault you got hit. Tsukino, I ain't gonna ask you to apologize—whatever happened Yukina must've deserved it, you look mighty pissed off. And I don't know what shit you're trying to pull but you better not take out every goalie on the opposite side."

Usagi gave Yukina a rueful look, crossing her arms. She looked so fearlessly combatant.

"_Holy_ _shit_." Mamoru breathed.

She wasn't even winded and she looked the exact opposite of contrite despite the pain that tortured Yukina's face. In fact, she looked...grimly _satisfied? _Mamoru paused, thinking at that but found that it was plausible for Usagi to look unrepentant. She had spent weeks being penalized by teachers and ostracized by peers.

_And Yukina was always known to be a gossip._ Mamoru remembered. _She probably did something to piss Usagi off._

"And another thing, Tsukino. Those are some fine legs you got, but you best give some leeway to them goalies from now on now that ya scared all the girls and guys shitless. Do another person like that and you won't have to skip my class, I'll kick you out."

Wait. She'd never given him permission to refer to her with her first name—

Usagi didn't look to be listening or surprised that she was caught. She was watching Yukina get off the field with her friend.

_It all happened so fast. _Mamoru thought, dazed. But he was brought out of his reverie when he felt her stare on him as Yukina and Kairi walked by him. She looked to be a little questioning for whatever reason. He didn't really approve of what she did, but he didn't disapprove of it either.

He crossed his arms. _Was that really necessary?_

She snorted, almost incredulously.

"Did ya hear what I just said?" Himura-sensei grumbled.

Her eyes were smoldering as she looked at him steadily. "Loud and clear, Himura."

_Of course it was._

"Alright!" Himura-sensei clapped his hands. "Winner, Tsukino's team! Take a break. Aino, cool your hothead of a cousin off, will ya?"

"Uh, y-yes sir!" Minako stuttered, stunned as they made their way off the field.

His lips twitched in amusement.


	5. Chapter 5

_oOo_

**Garden of Eden: **_Heartstrings_

_oOo_

_Summary:  
She was beautiful, in a haunting sort of way. And he couldn't seem to keep away from her despite his well known aversion towards the fairer of sexes because somehow, she made it okay to be curious. Though she was strangely tragic, there was a daring spirit inside that was reckless to the point where he might have called it suicidal. He knew it, because he could relate to that whimsical edge._

_()()()_

_uncertainty lies at every turn_

**Chapter 5  
**_first hurdles_

"What the hell was that?" Minako screeched in her ear and Mamoru couldn't stop the wince that escaped onto his visage out of sympathy for Usagi's ears.

If _he_ had heard it from nearly three feet away, he could only wonder how Usagi's hearing was fairing standing not but a few inches away from her cousin. He had to admit, it was a bit amusing watching Minako make wild gestures with her arms and foolish expressions with her face. He didn't understand why Minako was so ruffled with Usagi when they had won the first game of the period and would probably _keep _winning for the rest of class.

But then again if memory served right, Minako was rather intimidating when competitive. But she was worse when she was worried, so maybe it made sense for her to be rambling nonsense right now. She was more than a little aghast about Usagi's little show of brutality. Mamoru barely knew Usagi and yet, he wasn't even surprised Usagi had kicked the ball at Yukina. It wasn't like she didn't have it coming to her anyway but really, he wasn't surprised at that—more like he was shocked Usagi could even play at all. Because that was really fucking good aim she had.

Maybe he shouldn't have been surprised though. She certainly had the figure for sports. And the power spoke for itself—she looked pissed off.

"Usagi-chan, is something wrong? What happened out there?"

Usagi calmly ignored Minako's ranting and grabbed her cousin's water bottle from her that she had begun to irritably fidget with. She pulled the cap open with her teeth before squirting a generous amount of water into her mouth. The water was cool as it slid down her throat and she felt mildly revitalized. Usagi futilely blew her fringe out of her face in exasperation when her cousin's prattling ceased to continue.

Strangely, Mamoru watched, vaguely fascinated with the myriad of emotions being shown on Usagi's normally placid features.

He was not the only one watching.

"Look, Minako. I don't see the big deal. It was just a game." Usagi gave a monotonous shrug.

For some reason, the action made her appear regal.

"A game?" Makoto reiterated. "If it was just a game, then why did you kick that ball so damn hard? I mean, it was a pretty damn good kick, but were you trying to kill Moriyama?"

"Moriyama?" Usagi muttered blandly, almost distractedly. "Is that her name?"

Mamoru chuckled to himself. Leave it to Usagi to be so unperturbed.

"God, Usagi. You could've seriously hurt Moriyama-san."

Minako tried to get her cousin to see the point.

_Did it ever occur to you that maybe she deserved it? _It was on the tip of her tongue. Somehow though, amidst the varied stares of Makoto's somewhat impressed hazel green and Minako's disapproving azure eyes, Usagi didn't think her cousin would appreciate the sarcastic quality her wit possessed. She might very well just receive another lecture for her sadistic humor.

"Sorry."

Yet just like before, she didn't look sorry.

Minako scowled. "Don't apologize if you don't mean it."

Usagi grinned dastardly. "Fine, I won't. But don't tell me you actually _like _this...Moriyama-_san_?"

Usagi was well aware of Yukina's reputation in the school. They very rarely had run-ins and Usagi hadn't received the negative effect of her motor-mouth until today but had long since decided that she disliked the girl. She was much too materialistic and was always tearing other people down for her own amusement. Usagi would've been content for the two of them never to cross paths but the moment Moriyama Yukina had spoken so lowly of her today it had made her snap just a little. She'd been dealing with the interest in her background for long enough and the school gossip had crossed the line.

If she could, Usagi would've kicked the ball into her again. Except harder. And possibly in a different area.

_Perhaps her face, which she seemed to treasure so much? _Usagi mused darkly. _Maybe I'm enjoying this too much, but I can scold myself later if I still don't feel bad._

Minako remained silent, her lips twitching. At her cold shoulder Usagi felt cynical amusement. Maybe she shouldn't have done it. It certainly felt good to unleash the pent up anger, but she'd unintentionally alienated Minako from her a little. Usagi sighed. She was trying to be _closer to her_, not _drive_ her _away_.

"There's no pleasing you, is there?"

Usagi poked Minako in a childish gesture strangely reminiscent of when they were younger. Minako attempted to keep her glare in place only to sigh in defeat however, when Usagi slung an affectionate arm across the back of her shoulders. It wasn't under favourable circumstances but the physical contact relieved her somewhat.

Lately, Usagi seemed to flinch away from human contact whereas before, she used to thrive upon it. There were so many changes to Usagi and Minako didn't approve of what Usagi had done—even though _no, _she did not like Yukina and it sort of _was_ pretty funny seeing her crumple the way she did, like it was karma that had been a long time coming—but when Usagi acted in a way that reminded of Minako of the good old days from before where Usagi was so much cheerier, the elder of the two blondes couldn't help but let her get away with her devilish antics even though she would scold anyone else for it.

She'd let it go this time, but try for a bit of a guilt trip. Usagi had always hated those, she knew. She'd rather people yell at her rather than expressing disappointment in her. Disappointment had always been the trigger to Usagi's guilt and she despised the gnawing sensation of guilt because it never left her alone until she not only acknowledged it, but confronted it as well.

"I just don't see how you got to be so..."

The adjective to describe Usagi's new characteristic evaded Minako though.

"Bloodthirsty? Cold? Cruel?" Usagi suggested supposedly helpfully. Her eyes never left the field where the other girls now played in their stead. "Or how 'bout sadistic?"

Minako's eyes bulged aghastly. She seemed to accept the traits like it was _normal_ to be described so distastefully.

"How can you be so unashamed of what you did?"

Usagi yawned.

"It becomes second nature after a while."

The reply was frustratingly cryptic in that tone Usagi had whenever she seemed to refer to events that occurred to her in the past. But then Usagi turned serious eyes on her and Minako felt like the arm she had wrapped around her own shoulders no longer felt nostalgically comforting but instead, seemed to grow heavier like a burden too large for her to handle.

When had her eyes become so unfathomably deep?

"Trust me. Yukina-chan had it coming."

The breech of traditional decorum did not go unnoticed, nor did the tone with which Usagi spoke of it. Minako had never thought to link the words or distinct characteristics of something foreboding and wrathful to Usagi before. Yet they were strangely fitting for her at this moment, with her eyes so dark and her face so impossibly blank to Minako's observation.

It was eerily unnerving.

Meanwhile, Mamoru narrowed his eyes in thought as the conversation between the cousins ended and their team was called once more to play again.

He had no doubt that by the end of gym class, it would be their team that would go on to win the elimination contest. In the end, he was right.

"Still sure you're not attracted to her, Mamoru?"

"Shut up, Jin."

--

Usagi sighed as she opened her locker, throwing away yet another handful of little notes from her peers. They were steadily growing more vicious.

_Just leave. Nobody wants you here. Loser._

_You'll pay for what you did to Moriyama-san._

_Stay away from Mamoru-kun!_—

She crushed the flimsy paper notes in her right palm and shut her locker after getting her needed books for her next class. It shut with a resounding clang, that seemed to echo in her ears. Ignoring it, she turned to throw the now crumpled notes into the closest garbage can.

"Congratulations." After two days he finally managed to say it to her face.

Usagi's eyes turned to the voice of the owner. For a moment, she felt a wave of incredulity rise within her as the sincere praise failed to match up with the content of the notes in her hand. Were they congratulating her on her steadily growing pile of hate mail?! The absurdity almost rendered her outraged and the crinkled slips of paper nearly slipped from her nerveless fingers before she realized who was speaking to her. Instead, she shoved them into the corner of her textbook.

Then, she wondered why she was not surprised to see Chiba Mamoru standing behind her and through the throng of students between them. Had her hearing gotten better, or was everyone just talking louder? The dreaded whispering began and Usagi had to wonder whether Mamoru truly exercised common sense and appreciated the definition for said sense, or simply thrived on the gossip surrounding his persona. Strange, she hadn't realized he had a fetish for attention. She would've figured people wouldn't like others poking into their business, yet there were some idiots that made people curious on _purpose_.

It didn't make sense to her. But she wasn't one to get involved with other people and their unorthodox habits.

Still, Usagi maintained that he could have at least saved her the scorn but he just had to approach her as they went along with the crowd. It irked her that he approached her out in the open, where people could _see_. The glares intensified. Her patience dwindled and what little anger she had worked out from before was quickly restoring. What did it take for a person to get a break around here? She counted to ten, a suggestion Setsuna made concerning one of her moodier days. Apparently it worked wonders on people's tempers. It failed to work.

What was it with her and her fucking advice that never seemed to work?!

"I should've called bullshit on her ass," she muttered under her breath.

Mamoru raised a brow as he wiped the nonexistent lint from his blazer.

"Pardon?"

She had said that out loud? Usagi frowned, shaking her head.

"Nothing. Why are you talking to me?"

There was no time for pleasantries.

Mamoru shrugged. "Just to wish you congratulations."

"For what?" She humored him for the first supposedly friendly conversation she'd had with someone other than Minako.

"For your winning streak the other day."

Her team had went on to dominate the elimination contest. Exactly like he said it would.

She spared him a glance. The black, grey and maroon school uniform flattered the broad lines of his shoulders and tapering waist, the maroon contrasting with the bronzed tone of his skin. His hair was tousled from the breeze and he ran a distracted hand through it. He seemed to do that a lot. If Usagi were to look at him, _really_ look at him...she could almost say he was exotic. High cheekbones, strong jaw, dark skin and hair—she looked away. She seemed to be paying too much attention to him.

Mamoru got the feeling she was gauging his sincerity. Usagi simply wondered why she was even bothering with him.

"I didn't take you to be the kind for bullshit." It was natural she feel skeptical. He tried to reassure her.

"I'm not."

"Then why congratulate me? Shocked that I can do something other than be unapproachable?"

She was either very perceptive, or that was a lucky guess. How did she manage to hit the proverbial nail on the head?

Usagi didn't like the smirk on his face. Mamoru shook his head. "You must not get complimented very often."

It was an offhand comment, seemingly meant to be teasing.

_You have no idea. _Usagi scoffed, remembering her experience with the revelation of Azabu's social ladder over the last few days. The irony was not lost on Usagi, who had been introduced into the school with people vying for her friendship and not but a month and a few days later, she was scorned and pushed to the corner like the latest fad. It was sickening to say the least, that they would treat people the way they treated their clothes or new shoes.

"Not lately."

"Interesting."

Was that the best he could come up with?

"Shut up." She rolled her eyes instead. "You're attracting attention."

"Is that bad?"

"Yes."

"Well, that's what you are—interesting."

She rolled her eyes. "Is there a point to all this? You make me sound like a test subject."

Mamoru quirked a tiny smile in observance. "You seem different today."

"And how would you know what's the norm for me?"

"Touché." He admitted, his velvet voice wrapping it's tendrils around her. Usagi thought the feeling was odd. "But you seem different—more..._alive _and open."

For his reward she gave him a deadpan stare, choosing to ignore the last adjective he chose to describe her with. Was he insinuating that she actually _wanted_ to be talking to him? She most certainly did not. She could care less either way. She was just bored, and it was only fleeting words. It wasn't a big deal.

"Yes, I'm aware that my heart is still beating."

Ugh. Why did she say 'heart'? It sounded so...corny even though the context it was used in was meant for sardonic humor.

"That's what I mean. You're angrier today, more outspoken. You nearly broke Moriyama's ribs."

"Did I?"

It was a breezy question—the kind where you didn't care if the answer was good or not. Mamoru wondered why he felt unconventionally endeared to her for her indifference. Most girls who did that irked him to no end with their bitchy act yet Usagi pulled it off with some sort of intangible quality he couldn't quite grasp, leaving him wondering about it. He glanced at her. Her face was carefully devoid of expression.

"You kick pretty fucking hard." Mamoru shrugged carelessly. At this point, he couldn't be bothered to see whether she felt guilty or not.

Usagi smirked—like she didn't know that already.

_'I hate you.'_

_His pale eyes turned glassy with pain as he keeled over. He wheezed through the pain._

_'You weren't saying that last night.'_

_'Bastard.'_

Mamoru paused, what was that look in her eye? It suddenly looked dazed, almost vacant. As though she were remembering something. She seemed to do that often, considering it was the same look on her face the day they had their first real interaction together on the roof.

"Usa—Tsukino, you okay?" Phew, that was close.

"Hm?" Usagi muttered in distraction before gracing him with a look. "Oh well, one less fangirl to deal with, right?"

"It's not that bad...I know how to deal with them."

"Really?"

He crossed his arms at the tone of skeptical disbelief. Was she in some way or form twistedly, questioning his masculinity?

"Yeah. Besides, you're not the type to lash out for no reason."

She sensed her personal space being breeched. "Maybe, maybe not."

She continued to walk again after both had turned to face each other. Mamoru rolled his eyes, wondering how she got so _skillfully_ evasive. As much as he valued his innate talent for sarcasm, he would rather like that trait for her and cryptic comments. He felt irritated but ignored it, only taking a few quick strides before he was by Usagi's side again. The tardy bell rang, a shril tone that echoed throughout the building. Startled, Usagi looked at the clock she passed by and realized that much to her chagrin, she had unwittingly allowed Mamoru to lead her to the staircase going up to the school roof. She grimaced in displeasure, pausing mid-step.

Mamoru opened the door to the roof and Usagi squinted at the sunlight the outdid the luminosity of the staircase's fluorescent lights. He waited for her.

"Are you coming or what?"

Why not? Usagi nodded, jogging the rest of the steps to Mamoru's side. The door shut behind them silently, it's sound muffled by the hinge as they stood in the open fall hair again. Unlike the other two times they had been here together, the leaves did not streak against the sky in a show of colour, but merely shifted lightly each time a squirrel or another animal moved up the branches of the numerous trees surrounding the campus. They were quiet for the first ten minutes, breathing in the clean air comfortably.

This time—or maybe again, since wasn't it her who always broke the silence?—Usagi broke the silence. Maybe he would be the first to speak the next time they hung out. But then again, the third time's charm already wore off.

"So...why are you talking to me, Chiba?"

Mamoru raised a brow, before dropping his bag to the ground. He didn't answer at first and Usagi watched as he settled against the railing reminiscent of how he found her before. Intrigued, Usagi moved closer before she was standing next to him. She turned and braced her arms to push herself up and sit on the railing to Mamoru's right. She observed his expression. There was a hint of something in his eye that she couldn't discern.

"I thought we already went through that—it was to congratulate you, remember?"

She snorted. "_Bull_shit."

Mamoru smirked at the way she prolonged the first syllable.

"Why is it so hard to believe that someone might actually want to be nice to you in this school full of rich dipshits who think they're all that?"

"Because said dipshits worship the ground you walk on." Usagi replied, craning her neck to look at the sky.

"Here I thought you might actually be willing to give them the benefit of the doubt." Mamoru rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. Seriously, those people you call dipshits? They're like your own personal band of loyal followers. They love you and everything you do. Why not talk to one of them instead of the school outcast who doesn't give a shit, hm?"

Mamoru shrugged, barely concealing the stormy scowl at her comment. "I didn't know you were the school outcast."

"Yeah, right."

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm the school recluse." Mamoru offered.

"Which leads me to my first point—if you're such a mysteriously hunky, lone wolf why are you talking to me?"

It was obviously verbal irony but Mamoru clamped his jaw to avoid grinning.

"You think I'm hunky?" Mamoru asked. Usagi waved her hand dismissively and he realized she must tell guys they're goodlooking all the time to not be embarrassed or ashamed of voicing her thoughts so brazenly.

"You already know you're goodlooking from all those fangirls—you don't need me to boost your ego. And another thing, I call bullshit on you being the school recluse."

She said 'shit' a lot. She said 'bullshit' a lot, too. She had to have said it at least what, five times now? And in the space of a minute?

"What the fuck? Is that your favorite word or something?" Mamoru asked dryly.

"What? You mean 'bullshit'?" Usagi blinked, feigning innocence. She tapped her chin with a finger. "Yeah, guess it is. What's yours? 'Fuck'?"

Mamoru chuckled. "So what if it is?"

"I could care less. I still say bullshit on the whole you being a recluse thing though."

Six 'bullshits' in one minute.

"You calling me a liar?"

Usagi yawned langorously. "I'm not accusing you of anything. Just spill. What is it about me that's got you so interested?"

"You're very talkative today."

"You caught me on a good day." _Not_.

He looked speculative for a moment and almost hesitant. It made Usagi wonder whether she wanted to know the answer or not. Would he say something to ruin the comraderie they were forming? Even though she wasn't sure she wanted his companionship, Usagi had to admit she'd rather put up with him than anyone else.

"If I tell you, will you laugh?"

Usagi raised a brow in curiosity, before her eyes glinted. "Depends."

"Fine. I think you're a bit of a cold bitch." He expected her to be insulted with his crassness but when he looked at her, she merely looked back at him expectantly as though she were waiting for an explanation. What a surprise. She'd managed to be unpredictable again. You'd think that knowing someone was unpredictable would make them predictable because they were always going to do something that surprised you but didn't.

Man...did that make any sense? He shook his head. Of course it didn't.

Usagi wondered why she would laugh at someone calling her a bitch. But then again...it sort of _was_ funny to her.

"Your point, Chiba?"

"Guess I like that you don't kiss my ass like all those other idiots."

This time, Usagi did laugh. "Nice. So am I to believe that you tolerate having me around because I'm not some mindless ditz trying to fuck with you?"

"Is 'fuck' your second favourite word?"

Usagi gave a devilish smirk. "_You have no idea_."

There was a double meaning there that he didn't quite want to delve into.

"Never mind, it doesn't make any difference. And yeah, that's pretty much why."

"Aha, who would've thought you're actually decent underneath all that reasonable arrogance."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

Usagi shrugged. "It's just that on the first day I got here and saw you sitting in Iwamori's class, I thought you'd be a little more badass."

"Are you saying I'm a goody-good?" The idea didn't sit well with him. He, Chiba Mamoru was not a goody-good.

"I guess. I mean, sure you look badass, but the way you act in class _oozes_ academically focused." Her voice had taken on a comfortable drawl.

"I'm not goody-good."

Mamoru glared when Usagi only smirked in response. "My, aren't we defensive? Calm down, Chiba. It was just a thought. For all I know you could be on the record for stealing a car, or maybe your little academic focus is all just a ruse to lure in the next flavour of the week. I don't know, not like I care how many times you get laid."

"How many times have you gotten laid?" It slipped out, unguarded. He felt like he said the wrong thing when Usagi sighed.

_More times than I can count_. Usagi liked to pride herself on being honest, but didn't exactly like the topic of her sex life. She would be honest, but she wouldn't want to broadcast herself as a whore, no matter how much she didn't care what other people thought of her. So she pretended to distract herself by picking at her nails instead.

"Look, that wasn't my point. My point was that even though people shower you with praises and attention, I was just surprised your head hadn't exploded with arrogance like anyone else would've. You might even have shocked me with the fact that you're disgusted by how they worship you. Honestly though, I'm disgusted with them too. You're not that great."

Mamoru slouched. "You're terribly great at this whole friendship thing."

He felt her stiffen by his arm, turning her eyes away from him. He looked at her curiously.

_Friends? _She thought. Usagi swallowed, suddenly lost as to what to do. So she did the only thing she knew to do. Push him away.

"Who said I was trying to be your friend? It's just a few exchanged words, Chiba. Don't read into it. This doesn't change anything."

Surprised, Mamoru didn't say a word at first before sliding his cool gaze to meet Usagi's firmly.

"You're mistaken. I have no plans of getting attached to you, Tsukino." Mamoru assured her. "It's just that you're the only person that isn't a guy that I can share an intelligent conversation with. Naturally, I'd be curious."

Usagi relaxed, satisfied with the answer but they spent the rest of their time on the roof in silence because he was lying, and they both knew it.

Just because you don't plan on something happening, doesn't mean it won't.

--

Mamoru went home that day pensively.

He was cutting through the local park as a shortcut. It possessed a soothing atmosphere that rivalled that of the school roof. He crossed through it every day he had time, always stopping to admire the lovingly tended flowers and the poignant red roses. He wondered at how the jaded green of the stem and the vibrant scarlet of the flower's petals could look so good together when at Christmas, he found the colours nothing short of tacky when combined. Though he would never admit it, he often knew that the only reason he cut through the rose gardens was to stall and gaze down into the water before he went home to an empty apartment.

He wondered why he even bothered calling it home.

It was so..._sterile_.

His guardian, Yukari—affectionately dubbed Yuka—often tried to make it homier with textured furniture and numerous pictures only to fail in futility. He appreciated her effort to make him feel welcome in their currently shared home. When they first moved in, the place had been pretty barren and his guardian had taken it upon herself to redecorate. Mamoru thought it was a waste of money to try so hard to decorate the spacious apartment, but Yuka looked so pleased with her interior decorating that he didn't protest. The woman was aging after all, and Mamoru figured that she should at least be happy.

However, he was always late going home. The place held a cold air to it despite Yuka's blatant attention. He figured it had something to do with Yukari's job occupation constantly demanding her to travel, and the effort to make the place _home_ serving to remind Mamoru of what he had lost leaving the apartment bare and unoccupied for the majority of the time.

Someone once told Mamoru that it wasn't normal to avoid the place you were supposed to call home.

He avoided it when he could. People often questioned why, always assuming that he would arrive anywhere fashionably late and leave as soon as he could due to his introverted nature. Some people thought him condescending towards them, but really...he simply enjoyed his solitary. People wondered why he rarely spoke, but really...he enjoyed the silence. He wondered though why he spoke so much around Usagi when both of them deigned words to be pointless. Why waste words when they weren't even very important?

A random thought popped into his mind and Mamoru thought that Usagi would probably understand what he was going through, understand his reasons for avoiding the sanctuary of his home. He barely knew her, but he got the feeling that she would understand what he was getting at. There was something there with her. He could see it in the awkward way she would socialize at times despite being graceful in every other aspect—she often hesitated to return Minako's affectionate smiles but even more so when it came to physical contact like hugs—Minako was a hugger, after all.

Yet, even though he could plainly see the way Minako tried so hard to get Usagi comfortable it seemed as though Usagi found herself unable to settle in. She was like the rose he was fingering. She appeared unwaveringly confident and smooth yet vulnerable in weak moments with a few rough edges. He could tell she was strong because she never missed a beat when dealing with people who tried to knock her down. But he could tell she was weak sometimes too, like today where a look of worry had crossed her eyes during the last bit of their conversation together. She was a walking contradiction, _different_.

Perhaps that's why Usagi had retreated to the school roof that fateful day, Mamoru thought. Maybe home with Minako wasn't really a home. She was from Kyoto after all, and from what Mamoru could remember of Kyoto people in Azabu would get beaten up if they ever went for schooling there. Maybe that was why Usagi kicked the ball so hard for every goal and why she looked to be unbothered by people's snide comments. Wherever she came from, it was every man for themself. Survival of the fittest to the extreme.

Maybe that was why she was so unreachable. Maybe she knew what it was like to feel alone in a room full of people.

Maybe...

She was just like him, wanting company but unable to ask for it.

The rose's thorn pricked his finger.

--

**AN:** It's late. I'll edit this tomorrow, I swear. Maybe I should get a beta or whatever...I will ponder on that thought. I just wanted to get it out though, since some of you guys left PMs letting me know of your worry. I just wanted to reassure you that I'm still here. I'll even write author notes at the end of every chapter every now and then from now on. Thanks to all those who reviewed the last few chapters, and oh to _TemporaryInsane,_ I appreciate your support and hope your migraine goes away soon=)--'cause you know, stuff like that just plain sucks. Anyways, hope you enjoyed the chapter. Will update again soon, if English homework does not kill me first.


	6. Chapter 6

_oOo_

**Garden of Eden: **_Heartstrings_

_oOo_

_Summary:  
She was beautiful, in a haunting sort of way. And he couldn't seem to keep away from her despite his well known aversion towards the fairer of sexes because somehow, she made it okay to be curious. Though she was strangely tragic, there was a daring spirit inside that was reckless to the point where he might have called it suicidal. He knew it, because he could relate to that whimsical edge._

_()()()_

_sometimes, that invasion of space can be exactly what you need_

**Chapter 6  
**_comfort zones_

It started the day after Mamoru was feeling more contemplative than what he was used to. Sure, he was an academic kind of guy, but the need to do well in school was only motivated by the desire to get out of his self-proclaimed hell hole and out into the sophisticated city. Juuban was lucky it even had a place like Azabu to raise it's prestige—which was hanging by a proverbial thread. Anyway, the point was Mamoru usually never really gave a fuck about anything but himself. So in conclusion, _in reality, _this whole thing he was now going through...thinking of a _girl_ of all things—was weird. Thus, leading to a whole new level of strange regarding his association with one Tsukino Usagi.

It was weird. It was weird. It was _weird_.

Like he said, Mamoru didn't give a fuck about anything but himself. And even if he _did_ care about anyone other than himself...it wasn't like he ever said or admitted it out _loud_.

That would've been preposterous. Course, the things he cared about were categorized by the level of importance he deemed them with. And he ranked top. Call him a narcissistic bastard, but there wasn't much to keep him from being a jackass. It was one of those things where fate fucked you over just for kicks right from the start. Call it his only open act of defiance. It wasn't that he was socially stunted...okay fine, maybe he was just a little. No one had to know that though, right? And honestly, what else was there left to put any hope on anyway? You can't just dream for shit to happen. If you wanted something done you'd have to do it yourself.

Agh, and _shit_.

He had a routine, damn it. It wasn't a very good one, but it was _his_ routine. And she was messing it up. He could care less about the routine itself but he was _not _okay with having her invading his thoughts like she was. It wasn't right. It just wasn't _right_. _Wrong_, that's what it was.

Wrong. Wrong. _Wrong_.

Because now it was _their _routine. Which was..._different._

See, it worked a little like this...

Every other day.

Sometimes it was Wednesday. Sometimes it was Friday. And sometimes it was the period with Iwamori-sensei or sometimes it was the period with Renji-sensei. It was always at eleven thirty-seven am.

_Sharp._

It was always at the roof. _His_ roof...or was it _their_ roof? And it was _always _quiet. It was different for once, and Mamoru wasn't used to it.

It'd been so long since he had to deal with change, that he wasn't quite sure how to react...

--

But then, Usagi wasn't very pleased with the current developments either.

The truth of the matter was that it just didn't quite help that Mamoru was practically one of the only people she deemed tolerable. Or maybe he was the only one she could stand being around since she got to Azabu didn't seem to help either. She however, didn't know why she humored him and his pointless questions the way she did, why she allowed him tiny glances into her personal thoughts. She didn't know why she let him stare at her at all. But she did. She _let _him, and she let him get away with it, too.

She didn't understand why she kept coming back, even when telling herself she would stop doing that—that _today_, she would leave him alone. It is an empty promise though and deep down she knows it, but she cannot help but repeat the worn out vow to herself even when knowing that she probably might never follow through on it. It gives her a trivial kind of thrill knowing that there is still some kind of unspoken rule to break.

But she doesn't know that, because overthinking matters concerning Mamoru were overly taxing and dangerous to her sanity. Even if it was currently and _apparently _at a very 'fragile state'. The thought makes her frown and Usagi wonders if Setsuna's noticed the sudden mutual comraderie the two school lone wolves have found in each other. Surely she has to have, considering how she butts her head into their affairs all the time...but then again, it would be rather unrealistic of Usagi to expect the older woman to know everything. It was just hard not to think that she did.

The woman had an uncanny ability of predicting correct outcomes.

Usagi didn't like the idea of her being a psychic. It was too mystical, too much like that resembling something out of a twisted fairytale.

And Usagi hated fairytales. They'd lost their charm for her a long time ago.

The damsel in distress was an overused stereotype and there were no more dashing nights left to save them in their current world anyway. Men today were just idiots with only one thing on their minds. And any girl who couldn't take care of herself was pathetic. Just like Romeo and Juliet. People think it's so sad. A perfect tragic love story.

If it were so perfect why didn't it have the happy ending?

And besides, did anyone ever stop to think that maybe it wasn't love at all between them? Did anyone stop to think that maybe Juliet was like, what? Fourteen? God forbid, who knows how old Romeo actually the hell was. So stupid. Killing themselves like that, Usagi thought.

Tch, and the same things happened over and over in movies today. Boy meets girl. Boy and girl get to know each other. Boy and girl end up liking each other. Boy and girl can't be together because of conflicts. Conflict is resolved. Boy and girl live happily ever after.

The end.

Usagi almost wondered what happened after 'the end'...but then it struck her that the sickening plot used in nearly everything before could almost be reasoned to resemble the current acquaintance she shared with Mamoru. She doubted that she would end up liking him, but she certainly didn't want any attachments. She didn't do so well with attachments. There was a time where she might've embraced the chance at having another person in her life, but that time was over and gone with now.

Usagi sucked at caring about others now. She had, for a long time too.

She'd learned every possibly deadly sin and mastered them as perfectly as imperfection got.

She wasn't good at being with other people. Hadn't for a long time. Frankly, just the thought of it was a bad idea to her. The only exception she would probably make was Minako. And even _that_ was treading on thin ice.

This is a bad idea.

But that doesn't stop Usagi from wondering.

_What if..._

--

The first thing he notices, is that she has a lot on her mind today. He doesn't want to admit that he's been learning what each of her facial expressions mean. It's really just for survival anyway because one of these days she's going to bite his head off if he doesn't learn where to step carefully. It's never stopped him before and he's always been outright with her—at least so far, but he figures he's going to need it someday if only for his personal safety rather than out of respect for her privacy.

"Hello, again."

She raises a brow at him, even though by now it's become a part of a scripted routine they've unknowingly refined to the highest degree. He's even come to expect that certain action from her. He waits for her reply and only smirks smugly when she does. Usagi counts that so far, Mamoru has shown her five different types of smirks. Each meaning a different thing.

There was one for sarcasm, one for bitterness—she doesn't see this one often and she doesn't know why, but she never bothers questioning it. Unlike Mamoru, Usagi knows that his fury can be much more frightening than her own if pissed off enough—there was another smirk he used when he was amused but didn't want to laugh. She could understand that—she had a smirk like that too. And his last two smirks, one for when he unconciously did it in deep thought and another when he looked like he was paying attention but really wasn't—she didn't experience that one often either. Usagi doesn't delve too deeply into the reasons behind that.

It would just make things complicated.

"Hey, Chiba," she says, in a careless tone, like she doesn't care if she ever sees him again.

Which is true, because she wouldn't miss him.

Thinking this makes it easier to avoid eye contact.

"Beautiful day isn't it?" It comes out of nowhere.

The tone drips with saccharine sarcasm after their traditional pause of silence and Usagi knows he meant for her to hear it. She snorts. He knows she doesn't care about the weather at all. Besides, it was cloudy and looked like it was about to rain any second. Beautiful day, her ass.

"What kind of crack are you on today?" she muses, placing her chin in the palm of her hand. She makes it sound like she genuinely wants to know, almost as though to try it out for herself. The wind blows her hair, and it's tied up tight for once in his presence. Somehow, Mamoru gets the feeling that it's supposed to be symbolic in a way that should be crucial. He dismisses it as a minor detail instead.

And then he says, "The good kind of crack."

"There's such thing as that? I thought crack was supposed to be bad for your health." _She would know. _

She's interested, he can tell since she humors him with her curiosity. "Care to elaborate?"

"You know, the kind of crack that makes you so high that you just don't give a fuck about anything anymore."

She purses her lips, condescendingly or disbelievingly though he can't tell. His answer is open to interpretation, and could possibly be taken as depressing or angsty.

Usagi merely takes it at face value. It was too early to be trying to sort through puzzles like what went on in his head. And anyway, she wasn't sure if she even really wanted to know.

"Ever thought maybe you might need a shrink, Chiba?"

He notices that in her distraction, she absently pulls her hair loose.

She looks much better when it's down, he thinks. Not that he'd ever say it out loud, though.

Whatever doubts they might've had are slowly forgotten. It's only a matter of time before they come back, but for now this 'no strings attached' gig was convenient enough for the both of them. Why complicate something that worked itself out fine on it's own?

--

**AN: **Will edit later, I swear. Shorter than my other chapters I know, but remember that I _will_ edit this later I swear. I just had to get it out before inspiration left me again. For now, enjoy and sorry for the long wait!


	7. Chapter 7

_oOo_

**Garden of Eden: **_Heartstrings_

_oOo_

_Summary:  
She was beautiful, in a haunting sort of way. And he couldn't seem to keep away from her despite his well known aversion towards the fairer of sexes because somehow, she made it okay to be curious. Though she was strangely tragic, there was a daring spirit inside that was reckless to the point where he might have called it suicidal. He knew it, because he could relate to that whimsical edge._

_()()()_

_they say when you're happiest is when you should expect the worst_

**Chapter 7  
**_sharp lines blur_

_'I'll make you feel good.'_

_Really...? She raised hooded eyes. Would he really make her feel...good? She wondered, but her thoughts flurried away as though they were never there when he crushed her lips possesively, so that it would bruise_—_a blatant sign of his claim. A sign of male pride. _

_"Real, real...good." His voice whispered against her ear, and his kisses were feather light upon the delicate, feminine curve of her jaw. His hands roamed. It was wrong. It was wrong, it was so **wrong**. They shouldn't be there, his hands shouldn't be touching her like that. But, but...why..._

_She gasped, writhed, moaned for all she was worth. A hard gyration, and ecstasy was all she knew. A prolonged friction between hips and lips and tongue and all her troubles could go to hell. This...this felt...good. A shot of temperature, a dose of vertigo and she wasn't sure she could even remember anything but his name, his name, his name._

_Why did it feel so good? _

_She'd never had sex. But she couldn't help being curious about it... _

_She'd never gone this far before. For all she knew, she might be going the whole way tonight._

_She'd never fathomed how good it would feel_—_never __thought__ it would feel good. It was so messy, so sloppy. All the sweat, and the intoxicated scent of sin_—_it made her cringe. _

_But the pathetic romantics around her said it was the best feeling in the world. You feel complete, fulfilled. It feels right. Like you were meant to be held in his arms and kissed, and hugged, and utterly in love with him. You were supposed to get butterflies at the faintest touch, feel warm at the shortest glance. You were supposed to feel safe just holding their hand._

_What a load of bullshit, she thought. Bullshit, to those stupid little girls. They were stupid. Stupid, naive and misguided. But then here, now...was love supposed to feel like such a tangible desire that it stained your eyes a darker shade than what you were born with before? Was it supposed to make you react so wantonly, so...primal? Where the only urge is to fuck for all your worth until you can't anymore? _

_...Was it supposed to hurt?_

_If it was, then she might've been in love more than once. _

_'Say my name...say my name...'_

_God... god. _

_What about her name?_

_--_

Usagi's eyes scrunched closed tightly. She curled herself into a fetal position to ride the tremors out. Her teeth gritted and her jaw clenched in a display of will against her bodily reflexes. Breathe. In, out. In, out. Just breathe. Deep breaths. She counted to ten.

_I don't need it. I don't need it. I don't need it._

She repeated it over and over, chanting it in her mind and muttering it under her breath.

She didn't need it. She was over that. She was better than that. She. Didn't. Need. It.

Usagi clumsily flipped the comforter off her lithe body and stumbled her way to the kitchen, wincing whenever she made more noise than she wanted. Luckily though, after the first few days of coming to Tokyo, Usagi had learned to memorize all the really bad squeaky parts of the stairs in Minako's house. She didn't want to wake her or her aunt and uncle.

She swallowed. It wouldn't go over well if they found her barely making it to the kitchen in the middle of the night.

But she needed to get there.

_Water._ It would make her feel better. And maybe a pill. A sleeping pill.

_That'd be nice._

Her vision was blurring. Damn, her eyes were getting glassy.

Usagi fumbled in the dark with the cabinets, searching it for some sleeping pills, anything at the least. She didn't care. She opened the cupboads, and there it was. There weren't sleeping pills but there was tylenol. Her slim fingers closed around it and she poured herself a glass of water. Usagi opened the container of prescripted drugs with shaky hands that were so much more unusually lacking the grace that she was accustomed to having.

With a loud crack that she dismissed, the two red tablets slipped into her clammy left hand. Her eyes had adjusted by now and she stared at them when they shined under a random bent ray of light from the streets.

It struck her how familiar this action seemed. She'd been down this road before. How many nights had she gone through, seeking solace through beguiled sleep? For a moment, she wavered. She didn't want it to be like before.

_'The good kind of crack.'_

_Mamoru had said it with a sort of twisted cheerfulness. But she could read him like a book by now. He sort of meant it._

But maybe...just this once. Her eyes hardened.

She threw the pills into her throat and swallowed a gulp of water, ignoring the sting in her eyes and throat.

_Oh my...God..._

Deep breaths. In, out. In, out. Why wasn't it working? Why was she breathing so fast? Her heart was pounding in her chest and she could hear the dull pulse thumping loudly in her ears.

_Harder. Fuck! Do it harder...!_

'_Is fuck your second favourite word?'_

_She remembered giving a devlish smirk__—like it hadn't mattered that she was actually giving him a cryptical answer to figure out. Like it hadn't mattered that at one point, 'fuck' had been the center of her life. Fucked up life, fucked up head, fucked up friends...plain, fucked up shit._

There was a familiar warmth seeping to her stomach. She felt hot in only her oversized t-shirt she wore for sleep. She felt disgusted. She refused to go through this again. She couldn't...she _wouldn't_.

_Yes, yes, ye_—!

_"No!"_ Usagi snapped. Her fingers gripped the counter with a tight grip, her nails scraping against the marble. She bent her head down, her hair a curtain that protected her from the outer world for a moment.

_I'll make you feel good._

_Make you feel...good._

_...make you... good...good...good._

"_Shit_." She could hear that voice. That same voice that _ruined her fucking life_. What was she doing? What the _hell_ was she doing?

"...Usagi-chan?"

_Shit_. Usagi turned around slowly, trying to hide her quickened breathing. But she could see Minako's bright eyes in the dark, and she could tell that she was concerned.

"What are you doing down here?"

Minako stepped to her cousin hesitantly at first, before gaining confidence and wrapping an arm around the other girl's slim shoulders. They looked eerily alike yet strangely deviant standing next to each other with the moonlight streaming in through the kitchen's blinds. Minako with her effervescent hair that was the same length as Usagi's platinum. Her cornflower orbs and peachy skin differed from Usagi's stormy azure eyes and creamy skin. The resemblances were striking—but ended right there at appearances. Usagi wore a faded black concert t-shirt. Minako wore a white volleyball season t-shirt.

"Nothing. What are you doing down here?" Usagi questioned.

"I heard some noise, and thought I should check up on you..."

_I'm fine. _Usagi thought to herself, _This is the part where I tell her I'm fine. _

_You can do it, _her conscience mocked, _after all, weren't you always such a good liar, Usagi-chan?_

Her nails dug into her fists. Usagi didn't quite feel like talking or saying anything just right now.

Minako didn't bother asking if she was okay. She already knew the answer.

Minako had bright eyes and a warming personality. Usagi's were conflicting eyes that saw everything but never said a word. Like when she lied and said she was okay when she obviously wasn't.

"You're not okay."

Of course she was okay, better than okay. Why else would she be down here drinking pills down if she wasn't okay? Damn, who was she kidding? She wanted to agree and say that she wasn't. She wanted to tell Minako that it _hurt_. She did, she really did.

"I'm fine." The lie slipped off easily on her tongue, a practiced action.

Minako frowned. "It's almost one in the morning, and you're..._fine?_"

She sensed the sarcasm in Minako's tone. "I..."

Lying had never been her forte, Usagi didn't think. No matter how much she tried to tell herself it was easy, it never was. And it was always hard to keep her face even when she felt like she was the most obvious person in the world when it came to lying.

Except for the fact that no one ever seemed to call her on it.

"You...?"

God, she wanted to say it. So _bad._

_I'm not okay._

Three simple words_—_it would be so easy, so _easy _and _great_ and such a _relief_ to just be able to _admit it_. And not just to herself_—_but to someone, _anyone_. Why not Minako? Why not tell her cousin?

Because she couldn't.

So she didn't.

She didn't say that. She couldn't take it back. She just didn't know how anymore. Somehow, the words just didn't seem right. Or maybe the timing was wrong, or maybe telling it to Minako was what was wrong. Maybe she needed to talk to someone else.

Who the hell was she kidding though? Who, _who_ could she talk to?

She had no friends. She had alienated her family. And her schoolmates either thought she was a freak or the next best thing since black coffee.

She was stuck.

_I can handle this on my own, it's not that hard, it's easyeasyeasy,_ Usagi assured herself.

"Usagi-chan, are you ever going to tell me what's wrong—"

But _fuck—_it was _so hard_.

It was then that Usagi realized that she hated the way Minako looked at her. She looked at her with all the loving care in the world, all the utmost understanding and concern. But what did she know? What the _fuck_ did she know? She hated it.

Hated it, hated it, _hated it. _

_God,_ why did she _do_ that? Why did she look at her like she was going to break any second? Like she was some piece of glass to be handled and not trusted to make her own decisions. She could take care of herself, damn it. She'd been doing it for years now hadn't she? She wasn't dead yet.

"I just want to help you..."

"I don't need help." Usagi snapped. "I need space."

Minako swallowed, taken aback at the hostility. It hurt, to be rejected by one you called family.

_Shit, fuck, shit_. Usagi thought. The curses ran rampant in her mind. She was supposed to be fixing her relationships, not adding fuel to the fire. Somewhere deep down, she could hear the condescending tone of her long-since ignored conscience.

_Now, look what you've done Usagi. At this rate, you're going to make Minako cry. Does that make you feel good? Of course it does, you're a fucked up person already anyway. It makes you feel good to ruin other people._

"Usagi-chan—"

Usagi closed her eyes, in resignation or pain—Minako wasn't sure. Whatever it was that she was remembering, it must've hurt like a bitch.

"Look, can you just mind your own business?"

Minako gave an uncharacteristically serious stare. "You're my cousin. You are my business."

"I don't have to tell you anything."

It was cruel and underhanded to speak so coldly but she was so sick and tired of everyone doting on her. She felt like screaming, or breaking something, anything. She had never felt so trapped in her life.

"Are you ever going to trust me again, Usagi-chan?"

Minako's face fell low enough for Usagi almost to feel sorry. But the anger and frustration was too strong, and she was losing her temper to the point where her conscience could go to hell.

There was a long silence where neither said anything.

"Why do you keep calling me that?" Usagi wondered aloud.

Minako back tracked, startled at her cousin's interruption that came in a soft whisper.

"Call you what, Usagi-chan?"

"That." Usagi explained further, gaining numb fury. It was strange to Usagi. How she somehow felt so aware of her anger and frustration, yet she couldn't really feel it. It was like an out of body experience. One where she was watching—where she was the spectator just like she had always been. She knew what was happening, but it was like she wasn't acknowledging it.

"_That_. '_Usagi-chan.' _Why do you call me that? I've been horrible to you for so long. I ditched you our last two, three family reunions and ignored you and now I'm sharing the same house as you. I'm invading your space—I never smile or laugh or talk to you like I used to and all you can do is smile and try to cheer me up and just...make me _lunch," _her eyes glittered under the moonlight and Minako could see her confusion, "and...introduce me to your friends. What's wrong with you? What's _wrong with you._"

What was this feeling? Usagi hated feeling guilty—she wasn't about to let the emotion creep up and squeeze her alive now. But her efforts were futile. What she felt now, was much more acute than guilt. Was it regret? Remorse, maybe?

It was like a deep hole in her stomach that ached and _ached and ached,_ and just wouldn't go away—wouldn't let her ignore it. Had it really been so long since she'd felt genuinely sorry for anything?

Minako smiled bittersweetly at Usagi's dishevelled appearance as she took a deep breath. "Because we're family."

_What?_ It was the flimsiest reason for doing anything that Usagi had ever heard.

"I know that you don't understand, but you will. _You will_." Minako repeated. Usagi wondered if she said it twice to convince herself, or if she really did believe it—either way, Usagi didn't really know what to think. What was she supposed to think?

Minako had pulled her into a hug—an awkward hug, a one-sided hug—the kind of hug they used to share all the time.

Usagi floundered. _Am I supposed to hug her back...?_

"I'm not mad at you, _Usagi-chan. _When are you going to get that?_" _Minako reached out and curled a stray lock of Usagi's hair behind her ear.

The tender action reminded Usagi so much of her mother that she felt her breath catch.

"Try to go back to sleep, 'kay Usagi-chan?"

Usagi swallowed at the sudden loss of heat as her cousin moved and walked away after she gave a nod to her request. For a while, Usagi remained in the dark kitchen alone, staring at her half-empty—no, she thought, _half-full—_glass of water.

The water was unnaturally still, and for a second Usagi could see and hear everything in perfect clarity. Like a life-changing moment, that allowed Usagi a moment of insight into her cousin's logic and it was this...

Minako didn't think she was a lost cause.

"_How 'bout you? Setsuna's not even your counsellor by alphabet—wanna say something about why she acts like your personal psych...?"_

...so then why did she feel like one?

--

_Why am I still thinking about you? _Rei wondered as she lay awake.

She had tossed and turned, opened the window to her modest room—yet still she could not find any semblance of sleep. Exhaustion lay thick over her mind, but her body refused to succumb to slumber.

She had spent the last few days, trying to ruin the life of her best friend's cousin and for what?

To have her reputation shot to hell? To be thought of as not just a spoiled politician's daughter or a freakish psychic, but a closet bitch too? What was wrong with her? The priestess shook her head. What was wrong with her? she asked herself. What was wrong with _her,_ what was wrong with Usagi? What made her think she could just walk in out of nowhere and then get everyone's acceptance when she didn't even _belong_ in Juuban, much less Azabu. She was from the streets, the dirty streets. From _Kyoto _with a past background that Rei just _knew _was filled with shady stuff—and then she comes to a school for the privileged and acts as though the whole thing doesn't mean anything to her. Like it didn't matter that she was there when she should've been going to a public school off somewhere else.

Somewhere where she didn't have to deal with her. Didn't have to deal with her hogging everyone's attention and being everything people talked about. It's not like Rei _wanted_ to be talked about, but it's not like she wanted to be invisible either.

It infuriated Rei even further, when despite coming from the streets Usagi possessed an inner sense of grace and eloquence not even she possessed—she, who grew up on a shrine. She who was the daughter of a politician and class representative of her grade. While she worked her ass off for every compliment, every grade, every friendship and piece of respect—Usagi swore, she slouched, she scoffed and snorted, she didn't take anyone at their school even _remotely_ seriously and was just plain rude—and it made Rei angry.

She was never a very patient person to begin with, but the dislike she harboured for Usagi was slowly festering. How much longer till she hated the silver-haired girl?

And would Usagi even deserve her hatred...?

_Of course she would. _Rei thought bitterly.

Why wouldn't she, when the only girl Mamoru ever talked to was her.

She had strove for his attention for so long, and now instead, he graced someone as ungrateful as Usagi with it. If he would only spare her a moment of playful banter like with her, she would show him she was worth it—_is _worth it. She could be his everything. If he would only give her a chance. She could make him happy.

They could be happy.

Rei clutched the material of her pillow over her head. She scrunched her eyes shut.

And when she opened them once again to the glare of daylight and the beeping of her alarm clock, she realized with a sigh that another day had passed.

She had been forgotten once more, probably traded in for something better.

Her father hadn't called. He had told her not to worry, that he would call. That all she had to do was wait.

But it was okay. She had the memories of other calls to cling onto, where he had given her advice. And as Rei remembered, she practiced her alluring smile—the charming one that people deemed charismatic. It didn't matter if somewhere deep down it hurt to pretend. She had perfected this act—had even done it for years. She'd learned from the best.

She believed in him. He would come. He would call and ask her about school, her friends and how she was doing and then he would tell her he missed her. That she reminded him of her mother, and it would be okay. It would be _great_.

He had promised, but she just had to wait. Just a little longer...

"But how _much_ longer, Tou-san?" Her smile wavered. She felt something crack and for a moment she thought the mirror would shatter, but she was just being stupid, right? Hino Rei did not cry. Hino Rei never felt sorry for herself or was unconfident. She was the epitome of everything good and great, everything wonderful.

_'Remember, Rei...appearance is everything.'_

"I know...I know."

So Rei looked in the mirror, put on her brightest and sincerest smile she could with a practiced gesture, smoothed a lock behind her ear and winked.

"Good morning, Mamoru-kun!" she says to her perfect double, watching as her hand moves in unison with her reflection's.

Her father might've forgotten her, might have ignored her unintentionally...but there was hope.

If everyone else refused to notice her anymore, than she could at least count on Mamoru to return her greetings of good morning, hello and goodbye. Because he was Mamoru, and when did he ever let anyone down? Sooner or later, he would say yes. Say yes to her and then maybe she wouldn't feel so alone anymore because by then, Mamoru would stop paying so much attention to Usagi and start paying attention _to her, _not Usagi who's life was perfect and couldn't _possibly _realize how lucky she was, but _her_.

Hino Rei, the girl who desperately needed someone to care.

Today would be a good day. It would be better.

_"It has to be."_

--

**AN: **Sorry for the long delay! Hope you enjoyed it. Oh, and hope you guys have a good holiday!


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